Stan got home at a full run with the four tails in hand, only to find to his alarm that the front door of his house was unlocked. At first he thought he had forgotten to lock it but then remembered locking it specifically this time he had gone out. Had he been the victim of a burglar?
He entered his house and closed the door and wistfully said “whoever you are, I have,” he looked down at his hands full of werewolf tails and continued, “a gun. I have a gun.”
“No you don’t,” Clara said, watching him from his bedroom.
“Clara?! What the fuck are you doing here!”
“I’m here to give you another chance, Stan.”
“Well I’m not giving you one. You made your choices. And what happened, did Chad dump you?” Stan said vehemently.
“Chaz. And, um, we had our differences.”
“So that’s a yes.”
Clara was torn by her pride between a lie and the full truth that no she really had broken up with him, but it was because she had walked in on Chaz bonking another woman and Clara was nothing but another piece of tail to him, and not because she arbitrarily kicked him to the curb like she had done to Stan. Even though she had been the one to break up with Chaz, it had been Chaz’s win. Women to Chaz were like pokemon, he just wanted to catch them all, but the loss of one to him was incidental. But speaking of pieces of tail…
“So what’cha got there, Staaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnley?”
“Oh, um, well, you see…”
“I never took you for an animal abuser, Stannnnley. But it kind of explains things, honestly.”
“What? Animal abuser?”
“You’re carrying severed animal tails and you’re going to play dumb about what I’m talking about?”
Suddenly the dots connected in Stan’s mind. “Oh, no, that’s not what happened at all! You see, I was, well, these are, um….” what was he going to say? The truth was totally not believable.
“I’ll tell you what, STANNNnnnnnley. I’ll forgive you for your little… faults, and take you back, and not even call the police on you. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, don’t you think, Stannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnley?”
“No seriously Clara, I didn’t cut any tails off of animals, what kind of animal has tails like these anyway?”
They did seem impossibly proportioned now that he mentioned it, Clara thought. They looked like dog tails, but not unless the dogs were the size of Clifford the house sized dog. What could they be? What animal was large and had a tail anything like that? “Well ok Stanley,” she said, this time not mocking his name, “I’m sensing a story coming on.”
“You honestly wouldn’t believe the truth. But just get out of my house. Or I’ll be the one call the cops. And rightfully so. You obviously copied the key to my house and when you returned the copy I gave you, you still had the copy. Do you think that’s legal? Do you think you’re allowed to just do that? I wonder whose side the cops will take.”
“Obviously mine. They won’t know we broke up. And when they get here I’ll just accuse you of punching me. Be sure not to drop the soap when you get to jail.”
It occurred to Stan that she was right. In a fair world, he could throw this crazy bitch out of his house and that would be the end of it. But this wasn’t a fair world, this was a world where women were given higher status, were believed without proof, and could destroy any regular man with a single wayward accusation. Stanley was no Johnny Depp. He didn’t have millions of dollars to burn and a team of lawyers. But he certainly didn’t want to hook back up with this bitch who had singlehandedly made him swear off women forever.
“So what do you want then Clara, to continue this farce of a relationship we had, just two people who hate each other, living together? Because that’s the prize here. Is that what you want as a foundation for a relationship, a man who hates your guts, who you hate back? Because I’ll tell you, that’s all there’s to be had here, even if you’re optimistic and think I won’t eventually kill you. You don’t even think you can do better than that? If not Chaz then someone else. Go after someone else who’s run you through, or any of millions of other men out there who will settle for any woman. I’m sure they don’t all hate you. Why would you want me back?”
“…hate?” Clara was actually surprised by this. She was expecting him to just give in and accept his fate and take her back. And for all what happened, she certainly didn’t hate him, she just saw him as no better than a fallback. Actually she wouldn’t be back here if she didn’t think of him in fond remembrance. He was supposed to just be hers if she wanted him. She thought it had all the makings of a corny romantic comedy. He wasn’t supposed to refuse her!
“Just get out of here. You don’t call the police, and neither will I. We’ll just pretend this didn’t happen. Don’t do anything stupid now. Just live and let live, without retribution, is that so much to ask for?”
“…I…” she stuttered in a daze for a few moments. And then started crying.
“I said not to do any bullshit!” he yelled at her, slapping her. The first he had ever struck her, or anyone in decades. “Since you’re going to tell everyone I did it anyway, I might as well. Though a slap like that isn’t going to leave a mark so it doesn’t change anything, but boy did that feel good. I know you’re about to absolutely destroy me without a shred of compassion, but at least I’ll always have that moment to think back on.”
“Wait, I, I’ll just, go,” she said through sniffles and seemingly involuntary crying hiccups. “I’m not, not, going to, hic, do anything you jerk.” Her crying got worse as she thought back over some of the times they had together. And he really hated her? Hated her? Not just out of patience, or resentment, but hate?
Now he felt a bit bad about striking her, since the crying obviously wasn’t fake and honestly that is not something he thought she could necessarily control. She could tell coldface lies but she didn’t strike him as a top tier method actress.
“But, at least, hic, tell me the truth about, those things.”
“You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
“I’m sorry, you have reason to hate me. I don’t hate you. If it matters.”
“You really want to know about these things?”
“It’s fine, I’m sorry, hic, I’ll just go…”
Actually, it occurred to Stan, this could be an opportunity. Any test he might perform on the tails, Clara might be a guinea pig on.
“They might be werewolf tails,” he said.
After a few seconds she got herself to calm down. “Werewolf tails?” she repeated.
Stan thought back to that girl repeatedly cutting off tails only for them to regrow. Whatever she was, she had healing powers or something.
“You may get powers from them.”
“You’re jerking me around,” she said.
“Maybe, maybe not,” he said coyly.
“Fine, let me have one then,” she said.
He handed her one. He half expected her to take a bite out of the raw meat like she was eating beef jerky, but instead she slid down her pants and panties.
“What the fuck Clara,” Stan said.
“What, it’s nothing you haven’t seen, and besides how else am I supposed to put it on?”
“Oh, well…” Stan said, feeling stupid for not anticipating that.
“I can’t see what I’m doing, could you put it on me?” she asked.
Stan made a weird facial expression he felt was equivalent to shrugging his shoulders and carefully stuck it on her rear end at the perfect position. He wasn’t honestly actually expecting what happened next.
“Ahhh!” Clara gasped as she suddenly registered physical feelings in a location of her body that moments before hadn’t existed. “I… I… oh, my god!” she said, swishing her new tail around. She moved it around in various ways for a few more seconds before grabbing it and tugging on it. At first gently. Then a little harder. Then finally yanking on it, and starting to panic. “Can you take it off?!” Clara said frantically.
Stan pulled on it fairly hard.
“Owwwwwwwww,” Clara whined. “Oh, oh my god….” she cried.
She was back to full crybaby mode.
That girl repeatedly cutting off her tail was beginning to make sense to Stan now. “If it makes you feel any better, you, look, it, doesn’t look bad on you…” he said. And then he hugged her.
“Do… you… hic, really, hate me?” she asked, sobbing.
“No. Not really,” he said, looking at her face but not kissing her, and watching in surprise as her apparent age regressed from late 30s to teenaged. She had suddenly gotten much prettier. Her breasts had also become quite a bit larger, yet still perky.
Her tail started wagging.
“But I’m still not taking you back.”
“What? Are you kidding?”
“You would just do the same thing again. Now more than ever.” was his answer.
“Maybe I…”
“Will see this as an opportunity to grow as a person? Really? You expect me to believe that you stopped being a bitch just because you literally became a bitch?”
“Maybe I deserved that,” she admitted. “But hey, you believe in werewolves. Why is redemption so hard to believe in?”
“It’s also made you younger. You definitely wouldn’t settle for me now.”
“Well what if you put one on too? Then you wouldn’t be pushing 40 yourself either. Do you still think I would cheat on you if you were a hot young werewolf stud muffin yourself?”
He gulped.
