'How to use the interactive Canteen Interface to choose who you will be in the Next Life',
the book began.
'The Canteen Interface is a new, highly innovative process that allows users to assign themselves to a new life by doing what they have been practicing all along: By living! Your actions, and anything that happens to you after you enter the Canteen Lobby, will control who you become. Users are warned that other users may attempt to influence this; the management can take no responsibility for this.'
'"But wait", you are no doubt saying, "doesn't this mean that my control over my future will be extremely limited? Doesn't this mean that anyone can control my destiny?" Well, we have an answer to that, too. Your choice of foods at the counter, before you enter the main Lobby, allow you to customize the experience as you desire. Each food choice will affect a different aspect; some, for example, will give you tendencies towards certain alterations. A full guide is included in the appendix, but users should be advised that the most significant decision is the mashed potatoes."
Oh damn, Jack thought.
"The amount of mashed potatoes one selects will decide how much of one's transformation is controlled by the actions others and how much of it is controlled by oneself. A serving size of no greater then one teaspoonful is recommended."
Oops. He'd probably taken several times that amount. He got up to try the door again and suddenly noticed that the room had started moving downwards. Ah!, he thought, an elevator. Of course.
The elevator finally came to a stop, and the door opened into the lobby. He stepped out. The lobby was huge, with a sprawling red carpet. There were large glass windows, but they looked out into complete darkness. Numerous potted palm trees, sofas and coffee tables dotted it. Most of the sofas were in use; the room also contained a dazzling array of people. He couldn't help but notice, however, that most of them seemed to be couples, going at it with a passion.
He glanced around. Now what?, he thought.
