Becky retreated to her room quickly after dinner, flopping down onto her bed and staring up at the ceiling in silence. There she stayed until a familiar voice called out from her suddenly-open door. "Becky? Can I talk to you?"
"Sounds to me like you already are. What's up, Jenny?" she replied, turning her head toward the door with a smile and sitting up. Her little sister walked the rest of the way in, giggling, and sat down on the edge of her bed.
"Well, um... we haven't talked much, y'know, just talked, and I was worried about you. I'm really happy about you being my big sister but I thought just now, maybe you might not like it as much. And I'm really sorry if I made you sad," Jenny mumbled, hugging her sister quickly and moving away.
Becky looked down at Jenny for a long minute, more conflicting emotions swirling around in her than she thought any one person had a right to feel at once, but finally happiness won and she grinned, returning the hug. "Thanks, Jenny. You don't know how much that means to me. You did sorta make me sad but I was just confused. I'm still confused. I'm, uh..." she trailed off, leaning in close to Jenny and whispering conspiratorially, "Thinking about a boy I like."
Jenny started giggling madly, and before she realized what was going on, Becky began to giggle too, falling back onto her bed with the force of them, unable to stop herself but God it felt good to just laugh and not know why. After what felt like hours, their shared giggle fit finally subsided, and after wiping the tears from her eyes, Becky continued, "You wanna know who it is?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" Jenny nodded furiously, inching closer to Becky and leaning over.
"It's Andrew. You know, the chubby blond kid?" Becky said, unable to keep herself from smiling what she knew must be a dorky, dreamy smile.
"He's not that chubby!" Jenny protested, frowning. He wasn't, and Jenny knew that. They weren't raised to judge people like that.
"Why, do you like him? Better keep your hands off, little sister," she teased, grinning at Jenny's blush and moving back and forth on the bed.
"Ew, no! I..." Jenny began, looking at the floor with a furtive, confused expression. "I kinda feel funny when I look at the girls at school. But... kinda funny funny, not when someone tells a joke funny."
"...Really? I didn't start liking girls when I was your age. Maybe a few years later," Becky confessed. "Kinda weird that you would. I guess it's because you sorta are a girl."
She stood up, wandering aimlessly through the room as she had been prone to do as a boy. It helped her think.
"But I am a girl. I just have boy parts," Jenny reasoned.
"Well, those boy parts are gonna dominate your thinking, trust me. You'll see," Becky replied, grinning, though she still felt for her. "Come on, it's not all bad."
Jenny sighed, jumping off the bed. "I know. It's really cool being a secret boy. Like, if I... date some girl, no one's gonna know that it's actually right!" she exclaimed, a little giddy. Becky frowned at her choice of words, but didn't push it. There was a time and place for everything. "Thanks, sis! Good night!"
With that, Becky was left alone in her room with yet more things to think about. For now, though, sleep seemed like a very good idea.
