Horatio pushed his cart full of cantaloupes up and down the aisles of the Fresh Brothers Supermarket, but he wasn't really shopping. It was Friday at 5:13pm and the place was packed, a perfect opportunity to look for anything out of the ordinary. The list was getting pretty thin. It had been a day and a half since either Jeff or Austin called him with a sighting. And by the count he had done, Horatio figured there were at LEAST eight victims already "claimed". The score was Men 4 and the Ladies 4 or maybe 5.
Jeff found the woman with size 16 man feet soon after the game started and got a point for the men. He also found a young woman with deer antlers growing out of her head at the Dairy Queen, but she had already been claimed by the ladies.
Austin found and claimed the woman with three breasts (lucky bastard) and also a college age man with a donkey tail playing basketball in McVern park. He found a woman with hand feet pushing a baby stroller through downtown, but she was previously claimed by the ladies as well.
Horatio got a point for the guy with six fingers on each hand that was working at the Starbucks on Vine street. Oddly enough, Horatio actually hadn't gone into the Starbucks to look for transformation victims, he was just there getting coffee when he luckily noticed the guy writing on the cup had a lot of fingers. That was the only time he was lucky however, his other two finds were already claimed by the ladies. Horatio located the woman with horse hooves for feet at Barnes & Noble and the dude with the penis nose at this very grocery store he was now pretending to be shopping at. The penis nose guy actually worked here as a cashier, and oddly enough didn't seem to mind at all that his penis was dangling off his face on full public display.
The pubic haired person, the tiny man, and the man with the little girl voice had eluded discovery, at least by the men thus far. It was possible the ladies had found one of them giving them a score of five, but they wouldn't talk about it of course. The men only knew their score was at least four because of the already claimed people they had found. But the fact the game was still going meant they hadn't found six people yet...
Anyway, Horatio had been talking with Jeff earlier and they both agreed these last three were obviously the hardest to find. The pubic haired person could wear a hat if they were a guy or shave their head. A woman with pubic hair on her head could just wear a wig. The guy with the little girl voice would only be obvious if he TALKED and a guy with a voice like that probably didn't say much for obvious reasons. And finding the tiny six inch man was naturally hard due to his small size. The guy probably lived in a dollhouse in his parent's basement still.
The conversation with Jeff had also steered towards the possible outcomes of this awful "game" Fred had them playing. Jeff had mentioned he felt they kind of lost either way and that got Horatio thinking, DID he even want to win? Winning meant the male members of the human race would receive the "grace" of the female members. Of course this also meant being small and effeminate too. On the other hand if they lost they would be bearing children and that probably meant vaginas. But, Horatio wondered, if guys had vaginas and gave birth, would they still be guys?
Horatio's deep thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the very thing he had came here to find, something out of the ordinary.
A woman with two small kids was walking along the cereal isle talking to, well, her purse apparently. That would be strange enough, but Horatio could swear he heard the purse answer back. Upon closer inspection Horatio noticed there was actually a tiny little man sitting inside of the woman's purse! It was one of the transformation victims on the list and he seemed to be having an argument with his normal sized wife about what cereal to buy. It seemed a rather mundane thing for a tiny man to be doing with his giantess wife. This was by far the most fascinating thing Horatio had seen since Fred arrived, and it really demonstrated how powerful Fred was. The fact this guy was not only six inches tall, but in this twisted reality he had always been that way and had both a normal life and a normal wife was amazing. One would rationally think that a six inch man would either be in a lab or..dead! Of course, it was even more amazing the tiny dude seemed to have fathered two children in spite of the fact his entire body was the size of an average sized penis!
Horatio heard his tiny little voice say, "Debra, stop! I want cinnamon Life, I haven't had it in ages! Pick one up!"
The woman looked down at her tiny husband and said back to him, "Hun, I can't stand cinnamon Life and the kids don't like it either. It would go stale by the time you got through 1/8th of the box and I'd have to throw it out!"
The man just got annoyed and shot back, "That's not fair! If I eat the cereal for two weeks what's the difference? If I were normal size and ate the whole box in two weeks I'd be getting fed for the same amount of TIME either way!"
The woman was getting annoyed as well and was about to answer back when the young boy spoke up, "Mom, if daddy wants cinnamon Life, I'll help him eat it."
The woman seemed flattered by her young son's generosity towards his handicapped father.
The woman got the cereal and the strange family was about to walk away when Horatio remembered his mission, he had to touch the man in some way and hope the ladies hadn't already gotten to him. Getting close to a man inside a purse wasn't going to be easy, Horatio knew he had to try to be sneaky. He walked up to the woman and asked her, "excuse me, ma'am? I couldn't help but notice, uh, your husband in your purse."
The woman just gave him a puzzled look and asked, "Yeah....AND?"
Horatio blushed and said, "Uh, excuse me I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful, but I, well, I was just curious because, well, I don't often see men small enough to fit inside purses. May I ask what happened?"
The woman just got an even more confused look and responded, "what do you mean what happened? He wasn't cursed by a gypsy or anything, he was just born the way he is. Some people are big and some are small, my husband happens to be small."
"But...he's VERY small. How did you two even meet and fall in love with your size being so....different?"
The woman blinked a couple times and then bluntly replied, "I met him in college, and I love him because he is the most kind and thoughtful man I have ever met. His size isn't something I really think about a lot, I love him just the way he is. By the way, who ARE you and why are you so interested in my husband?"
"Uh, just my own curiosity is all. I guess what I mean is erm, how did you two, uh, you know.." Horatio said while making a gesture towards the two kids with her.
Just then the tiny man piped up "HEY! JUMBO! Just what are you insinuating? I can assure you I am man enough for my wife and that my kids were conceived naturally! Not that it's any of your business bringing that up in front of my wife and kids!"
Horatio blushed and realized he was losing ground fast. He quickly flashed his best smile and said, "I, uh meant no disrespect sir. I am so sorry, It's just, I'm a scientist and I guess I tend to ask too many questions. Please accept my apologies sir, my name is Horatio Vásquez."
Horatio extended his hand towards the tiny figure as though he were going to shake hands. Rather than being offended, the tiny figure actually reached out his tiny tiny little hand towards Horatio's. Horatio's heart started racing as he realized he was about to succeed and make contact with the tiny victim and see if he got a point for his team or not! As Horatio felt the tiny hand latch onto his finger............
