Gary hung his head down embarrassed. Catherine noticed Gary seemed to realize that almost everything he said her just more confused and miserable. She felt bad for her friend, even though she probably shouldn't, given what he did to her already.
She got closer and tried to catch his gaze - successfully. When his brown eyes met her green ones and lingered there for a few seconds she felt a stirring in her abdomen. Catherine's face once again flushed red as she realized she was gently pouting her slightly parted lips, ready for a soothing kiss. She broke the eye contact.
This was too much. The feelings, even though seemed to come to her naturally, felt very foreign. Catherine, the newly created persona, already missed her lover's embrace. Her body was craving her touch. Catherine, as the facade of a person known earlier as Jon though, that person wanted this nightmare of emotional dissonance to end. She knew she was really a guy and her rational mind found the idea of being physically affectionate with Gary, well, repulsing.
"Let's just go to my place." Catherine turned away and started walking down the parking lot. "No talking until we get there. We can try to figure out how to fix this mess out of the public sight.
As they walked towards former Jon's house, Catherine tried to assess her new emotions more accurately. She tried to analyze what was making her feel the way she did hoping it would help in resisting to give in to them. And it did. Somewhat.
Like her really wanting to grab Gary's hand. She tried to understand where that persistent urge was coming from. At first it seemed like it was mostly to experience a firm grip of a larger male hand on her small and dainty feminine one (it was also the first time when she realized quite how small her new hands were - even for her size). But then it became clearer and clearer to her that there was more to this than just the touch. She knew that by taking Gary's hand she would accept his lead and let him announce to the entire world that she is hers. On some level the craving was to be his, to belong to him.
The realization of that lingering submissiveness and self-objectification made her uneasy. What if it was actually going to show more at some point? What if Gary does decide to claim and own her?
Catherine shooed the thought away.
Catherine's house wasn't very far away. Or at least she hoped Catherine lived in the same place Jon did. She couldn't see why given her last name hasn't changed.
It wasn't very far, but far enough for an forty-five minute walk - quite a long time to remain silent for someone who didn't usually shut up for very long - at least mostly about her comic books back when Catherine was Jon.
She decided to break the silence. In the end nothing bad could come from only her talking, right?
