"Hmm, Genie in a Bottle?"
"Christina Aguileira?" Karyn pouted. "How about somebody else?"
"Okay... Hmm, maybe a song I don't know. I had to be a girl, so it's only fair you be a guy." He reached out and touched the line reading, "Ian Roberts: I.W.I.W.A.L."
Jon watched, amused, as Karyn raised the microphone to her suddenly-stubbly lips and began to sing, reading the lyrics off the bottom of the screen. She didn't even seem to notice that she had turned into a guy in his 30s with a scruffy beard.
As the song progressed, Jon got a horrified look on his face...
I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo!
I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.
I'd sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.
I'd throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.
I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!
I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.
I'd sleep with k.d. lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike!
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.
I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.
It shouldn't really matter how somebody is hung.
Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!
I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!
I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all their yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo
(I hate that machis'mo!)
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!
Karyn gave a stunning performance, hitting every note perfectly in a rich baritone. As the song concluded, she changed back to her usual form, and looked down, realizing that she had had her stone in the hand the entire time. Only then did she realize what she'd done. She stared at Jon, with a caught-in-the-headlights look on her face. Jon was only able to shrug.
"Did it... Did that count...?" she began, then stopped, touching her own body. "But I'm still me, it didn't change me."
"But it wouldn't change you, outside, would it? Are you a lesbian, shouldn't you know?"
"I don't know, should I know? I wasn't myself when I made the wish, maybe it doesn't affect me now? Jon..." Her eyes seemed to plead with him. "Kiss me?"
He just nodded, silently. He made no move for a minute, then swallowed and stepped forward. He closed his eyes, leaned forward, and touched her lips with his for just a moment. He stepped back again. "Was that okay?"
Karyn glared at him. "No that was not okay. How am I supposed to know whether I like it or not if you don't do it right? I want a real kiss." She realized how that sounded, and turned bright red. "Um, please."
Jon nodded again, stepping closer and putting his arms around her. Now and then he'd had thoughts like this; now that he was actually doing it, he found it surprisingly easy to pull his best friend in close, wrapping her up tight. He felt his heart beat faster as he noticed the gentle pressure of her recently-enlarged breasts against his chest. Her warm breath tickled his cheek. Eyes open, he moved his mouth closer and gave a long, assertive kiss.
He held it for a moment, scared of what would happen when this moment ended, irrationally afraid that she'd take offense at his forwardness. He felt Karyn respond, not really seeming to know what to do. She just sort of moved her lips limply. He drew back, releasing her, and looked her up and down. "Well."
"Well." She answered. "I... still don't know. But I think I should have felt something there. I've... I've thought about that sometimes." She wasn't blushing when she said that, just saying it calmly. "And it didn't really feel that special."
"No," he agreed, "It really didn't." But inside he was hurting. It had felt special to him, up until she failed to respond. His best friend had secretly returned his crush, and now she never would again.
