Jon closed his eyes for a second and began to hear the faint sound of music when he reopened them. Stepping out into the upstairs hall, he recognized what sounded like generic teen pop music coming from his parents' room. Noticing that the door was open a crack, Jon peered inside.
His mother was lying on her bed, legs up in the air, talking on the phone like some vapid teenager. She was lying on her stomach, and Jon had a great view (better than he wanted, actually) of her hot pink hot pants that had the word "Princess" written across them in glitter. She was wearing a light pink camisole top. She was wearing more makeup than she used to, especially around her eyes, and Jon noticed her hair had been bleached blonde. She twirled it in one of her fingers as she spoke on the phone.
"Ohmygod Carol, did you catch the VMAs? Did you like, see the guy from that first band? Was he totally hot or what? I'm totally crushing on him!"
Jon decided to continue listening in for a bit. He wondered if his mom had acquired Sarah's notorious mean streak as well.
"My husband? Oh right, Jim. He's more like my plaything. I mean, I've sooo got him wrapped around my little finger. Ohmygod, last week, he told me that Sharon from his work had tried to put the moves on him yeah, I know! What a skank, right? So I like, had Jim secretly replace her diet bars with weight gain bars! I know, I know, I'm such a genius!"
Jon decided he'd heard enough at that point. Apparently she had picked up a fair dose of Sarah's mean-ness. He hoped this wouldn't have any long-standing repercussions with his family.