....Jon began to type, "Zach says, 'Hikaru, I wish that your chest had the shape, feel and appearance of a female for the rest of your life. Also, I wish that for every time you correct someone else, your boobs will grow one full cup size and stay at that size until you are silent for two full hours while awake. I also wish that every time your make an off-topic comment, like an out of story note, you will shrink three inches shorter and stay that way until eating a new can of Spam." Jon chuckled at his little pun there.
But Jon's typing called for Zach to continue his rant. "I wish that you have to raise your hand like a 2nd grade schoolgirl in order to get permission to speak. I wish that every time you speak out of turn, your hair would lengthen by three inches, and then become 25% more feminine. I also wish that your hair would remain in it's longer feminine style until you spend an hour trolling on websites dedicated to women's haircuts."
Hikaru listened to the litany of wishes, thinking of how careful he would have to be in his day to day conversation. Then....
