The wish would have to be articulate and simple. He’d also need to maintain a delicate lilt, keeping any masculinity from voice so as to not aggravate the clothing further...
“I wish I had the life of a sexy milf, with, uh, something to help me keep on task! And that some of those tasks involve me getting all hot and intimate with this body!”
A pause. Jon wondered if he should stop making impulse-driven wishes whenever he felt horny.
The skirt jutted forward, and he gasped at what felt eerily close to being spanked.
He didn’t know what to exactly to expect, but it certainly wasn’t a purse to appear on his bedside. Sure, it was a nice—violet with a white floral design, likely more expensive than it ought to be—but that was it. Nothing else was different. He opened it without hesitation, eager to get the show on the road, finding... pure, sprawling blackness.
He closed the bag.
He took a deep breath.
He opened the bag.
Void. An inky, silent thing that seemed to creep into his the depths of his very soul. This was not simply darkness, this was something infinite, incomprehensible to—
He closed the bag.
“Stone! What the fu...” He caught himself; his body too sore for any more punishment. “Stone? I do not appreciate such... Eldritch shenanigans.”
The stone replied with stoney-cold silence, for it was not alive.
Jon bit his bottom lip in fearful contemplation, a decade-old habit unaffected by the sudden fullness or lipstick-taste of his mouth. What if he just forgot about the bag? He could go play video games, maybe come up with a plan later... But then his right heel forced a coquettish stomp, as if politely alluding that he should open the stupid curse-bag or they’d be stuck here all day.
He took another deep breath.
He opened the bag. He plunged his right hand into it. It was icey, almost painfully so, but the lad-turned-lady steadied himself and reached deeper and deeper, until...
The newest model iPhone, paired with a tastefully designed case.
“Oh. Uh, okay?”
...He liked Androids better.
As if possessed, the machine lit up. Jon gasped, fearful of what this meant. Was the bag evil after all? Did he commit a grave error of taking something from it?
Or maybe it wanted him to get groceries. He looked down at his curvy new body, stunning and pretty and holding itself with a feminine grace he’d never known. He imagined how other people would stare at him, lust after him, treat him like something to be desired rather than some gangly teenager.
Getting groceries was a pretty great idea.
As is waiting for that very decision, a pair of car keys jumped from the purse, as if thrown from somewhere in its infinite darkness. A brief pause, as our hero contemplated whether he should even be surprised at this point—nah, a free car was a free car. He grabbed the keys, grabbed the purse, and sashayed to the driveway as quickly as the high heels would allow.
...And walked into the grocery store, fifteen minutes later, heart palpitating like he’d seen death.
Jon knew how to drive. He didn’t, however, know how to drive in a body with fundamentally different proportions, giant boobs that got in the way of everything, and an outfit that priotized moving prettily over proper safety.
“That’s what wishing for only ‘basic sentience’ will get you, I suppose,” he grumpily mumbled under his breath.
“Might wanna be careful talking to yourself like that.” A deep voice said from behind. Jon swiveled about to find a very tall, very chiseled-looking man smiling at him. “Never know what kinda creeps are listening.”
Jon wasn’t expecting attention so soon, much less something so overt. How was he supposed to even act in this situation? “It’s just a small habit of mine. Thinking out loud, I mean.” Nailed it. Jon turned to continue his shopping, hoping to end the encounter. The man followed.
“I’m Michael, by the way. Haven’t seen you around before, don’t suppose I could ask for a name?
Jon hesitated. He didn’t know the guy... But Michael seemed nice enough, if a little too enthusiastic.
“Josephine.” He’d spent hours deciding between that name and Jennifer. The former one out, being—
“A beautiful name for a beautiful lady! Well Josephine, I couldn’t help but notice you weren’t wearing a ring. Your boyfriend won’t get jealous at me for talking to you, will he?”
“Oh no! I’m not dating anyone—”
“Then let me take you out to dinner. Tonight even!”
Tires screeching train halting something.
Holy crap this guy didn’t sit around! A less womanly Jon might’ve been impressed, but right now? He really didn’t want to be put on the spot. Well, he never did, but he never was. Jon looked around, grasping for an out—and noticed that he was very much the center of attention. Micheal was the first to make himself known, but that was among an array of sideways glances, vacant grins, teenage workers who suddenly couldn’t do their jobs, and women unabashedly staring daggers.
Other people might call her one of the most beautiful women they’ve ever seen.
His stunning features turned a deep crimson. Jon always fantasized about being wanted and lusted after, to feel important... But that didn’t detract from him being a huge introvert who panicked whenever someone so much as looked at him for too long.
One second. He was deer in headlights. But Micheal gave a warm, patient smile.
Two seconds. He left the stone at home.
Three seconds. He couldn’t undo the wishes, too many people were watching.
Four seconds. Bzzt.
The new phone had a notification for him.