"All right," said Karyn. "I know who you are. You're the one who sent me that cheerleader spell."
"Cheerleader spell?" replied Dannie. "What are you talking about?"
Karyn produced a paper bag. "This," she said, pointing inside. "I was going to bring this costume back to your boss."
Dannie glanced in the bag. "That's not a costume, it's a real cheerleader's outfit."
"But I'm not a cheerleader."
"Well, you just were... oops."
"That proves it! You were the one who sent that spell over!"
"Fine, I was. You know, the Wizard isn't a bad guy, even if he does wear a bathrobe. If you really want to know my story, I don't see why not. This feud is silly anyway. You see, I was originally a college student named Dan...."
Karyn nodded. "I won't yell 'You were a guy?'. That would be stupid. I figured something as much."
"Anyway... I was walking through this mall and ran into Spells 'R Us. I had heard of it, and I didn't completely trust the Wizard either. We glared at each other a bit, but he saw some latent magical power in me. And he liked that I tried to be brave.
"He gave me a crystal that grants three wishes and a ring that lets me find the store again. He said that there weren't any traps."
"And there was a trap?" asked Karyn.
"Of course there was. It had this mental tempting effect. He told me it was the guy he got the crystal from but I think he was lying. I resisted it, which passed his first test. Later I wrote down some wishes and made them as fast as possible so the crystal wouldn't be inside my head for too long."
"Knowing the wizard, they turned you into a girl, right?"
"Yeah, money, healing and damage resistance, and I wished to find my true love in a month. I specified a 'she'. At that point the second trap took effect. I couldn't resist making a fourth wish. I wished to know what women think of me."
"And the fourth wish turned you into Dannie?"
"No, the third one did. My true love was probably a lesbian. Or maybe a guy who turns into a lesbian. Or maybe a guy who's temporarily a she for the first five minutes I know him. The fourth one released my wizard powers, I was reading minds by using them. So he made me his apprentice."
"So let me get this straight. From your own story, he gave you a magic item and didn't tell you about either the bad effects or the fourth wish. He also lied about there being no traps, and it led you into a situation where a mistake could and did change your sex forever. And I bet you didn't find your true love in a month, either."
"It's not forever, it's until I find my true love. I admit it was longer than a month but...."
"So he lied to you again?"
"No! I don't think so, anyway. I wished I'd age at 1/20 the normal rate, so I have at least twenty months."
"When was that?"
"Oh, 1999. But I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Maybe the shop is frozen in time or something."
Karyn began to giggle.
"You don't believe me, Karyn."
"I believe you're sincere. But I still keep thinking of that Crunchy Frog sketch. Can you at least see why not everyone thinks your boss is the most trustworthy wizard alive?"
"I know enough about your boss's shop to know that plenty of people change sex there just like in my boss's shop."
"Believe it or not, plenty of people are willing to change sex if you give them sex-change magic without tricking them. And when we do trick them, we don't pretend we're doing anything other than tricking them. And we try to limit it to real character flaws. It's one thing to turn someone into a girl because he's a wife-beater and needs a lesson. It's another to turn him into a girl because he didn't read the fine print after it was printed in as small a font as possible so nobody would notice it."
"It's his own fault... that's what the Wizard would say anyway. I don't argue with him on this."
"We also do temporary changes as well. It gets a lot more willing customers when a customer can walk in and just get something to spike the punch with at a party without ruining anyone's lives."
"The Wizard has done that a couple of times. I told you he's not that bad. So anyway, what's your story, now that I told you mine?"
(Author's note: the introduction of Dannie is here: <http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyID=3025467202296603> ).
