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2. The Magic Stone List

1. You Are What You Wish

The Magic Stone List

on 2005-12-22 03:18:12

2498 hits, 56 views, 1 upvotes.

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Jon was sitting down with Karyn at her computer, trying to find some information. "I don't see anything," he said. "Nothing that would help in getting rid of your hair and breasts."

Karyn pointed to a link in the search results. "What's that?" she wondered.

"Oh, I've been there before. It's the Evil Overlord list. You can search Google for 'evil overlord list'. It's about the really stupid things that you see the bad guy do in movies and whatever. Like, 'I will make sure my ventilation shafts are too small to crawl through.'"

Jon clicked on the list and explained, "People made lists like this for a lot of other things than evil overlords. There's one about being the hero, one for vampires, plenty of different lists. It's really funny, especially if you watch bad movies. I just wish there was a list like that for using the magic stone...."

Jon's left hand happened to be resting on the stone at the moment, and the two teens were surprised to see several sheets of paper with words printed on them appear out of nowhere. Jon put the sheets in order and began to read from the first page....

"The Magic Stone List"

  1. Before I make any change to myself, I will think about whether I want it to happen for the rest of my life. If not, I will remember to put a time limit on.

  2. If a wish doesn't come out the way I want, I will remember that "I wish that happened the way I wanted" is likely to fix it.

  3. If I need to reverse a wish that I "was" or "had" something, I will remember that past tense is not an unusual interpretation of those words.

  4. I will not panic after making a bad wish. The need to fix it is seldom urgent, and when it is, I can still wish for some nice spare time to ease the stress.

  5. The stone is a useful source of information. If I don't know how to phrase my wish properly, I can always ask.

  6. The stone is a useful means of protecting itself and a few simple wishes can keep it in my possession. That being so, I will make sure it can't be stolen by relatives or fall out of my pocket.

  7. I will remember at all times that I have modern contrivances such as cell phones.

  8. I'm a teenager. If I make a wish which uses popular culture, I will not exclusively pick singers, TV shows, or movies from before I was born.

  9. If I become pregnant, I will not automatically reject the concept of an abortion.

  10. I will not wish that a wish happen to "everyone" unless I really want it to include babies, children, and old people. This goes double if the wish is sexual in any way.

  11. If I do wish that something happen to everyone, I will remember that there is an outside world. If the people outside the wish range see a whole town transform and quarantine it, bomb it, or send Mulder and Scully in, it will ruin my afternoon.

  12. When I change anyone's sex, age, or species, or move them to a different family, I will remember the existence of databases outside the range of my wish that could lead to a missing persons report or an arrest for tax fraud.

  13. I will not wish for a larger penis. Aside from the embarassment that happens if I accidentally get rid of it instead, it's not really more useful than a smaller one, except in jokes.

  14. Going power-mad and controlling people is a possibility, but before starting it I will remember that there is probably a reason why my grandfather didn't do so himself.

  15. I will not turn into a rapist for no reason.

  16. I will not give out wishes to random strangers.

  17. If in a moment of weakness I do give out wishes to random strangers, I will make sure I let myself remember them and have a way to fix them.

  18. If I give out a wish or lend the stone to friends, I will remember that if I
    can go power-mad and control people, they can too.

  19. If I make a wish that drastically changes my past life, I will be sure to wish to know what that life is like.

Then he turned to the next page and continued reading....

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