...A knife. About twice the size of my hand. I vaguely noted its unusual design: two separate blades emerging from the hilt to merge into one at the tip. My dexterity immediately sprang into action, and I wielded the conjoined blade with a kind of familiarity I was pretty sure I never had. As Suzie growled and gestured emphatically, I noted the vulnerable spots: throat, eyes, mouth, ears...
Wait! I yelled silently at myself. This was Suzie, after all. I couldn't hurt her, especially when she was just confused. "Suzie," I said slowly, trying to calm her down, "You are a girl. You are playing a very realistic computer game. You think you're a guy, but you're not. I'm not a girl either."
Suzie frowned. I thought I was getting through to her, but the barbarian just let out a laugh. "You stupid. Me boy, you girl. Here, I show." He reached for me once more.