"Fuck this shit, Jon..."
"I don't think you realize how bad a position you're in. You realize I'm letting you act like yourself because I'm being nice. I could turn you into a hamburger and feed you to a dog if I wanted. Or maybe turn you into a hooker. Now shut up and let me talk. And don't think of yelling, because I'll just wish the problem away. Got that? Good."
Mike nodded.
"Basically," explained Jon, "there are lots of things I'd like to do to you. But the most obvious would be making you pregnant for real, and if I do that I'd be setting myself up for irony later when many years down the line your baby and Petra could end up best friends. I'm not going to let that happen, so you get off light, sort of. Okay, you can change back now. But I wish that you're a nine year old girl."
Mike turned into a boy... only to immediately start shrinking down again. The blonde girl in jeans left behind would be seen as cute by any mother... well, any mother but Jon. "At least this way you won't bully me any more."
"Damn you..." said Mike in his new squeaky voice, but Jon added "I wish you're at home." Mike disappeared.
"Well, Petra," said Jon. "There she goes. Oh, I wish that as Mike grows up she begins to envy me and wants to have a baby herself. I think that's it. Now it's bedtime again. Do you want your mommy to rock you back to sleep?"
