Slapping Patties
"Who are you speaking to?" Joseph asked Scott, their waiter.
"Oh, uh, Karyn, I guess. No, I meant all of you. But not the guys so much, although I'm not saying you look bad in any way, you know, uh. Not that I was looking, looking you over you understand. I'm sure you don't want people looking at your naked boo..., uh, bu..., uh, body parts, uh, you know, and, uh..." the waiter stammered. The whole time he never once looked any of the four friends in the eye.
"Scott, baby, how can you be our waiter if you won't look at us?" Jennifer asked sweetly. She was sitting closest to Scott and began stroking his butt. Joseph frowned but said nothing.
Scott turned toward Jenifer and tried rather unsuccessfully to look only at her eyes. "Uh, look, I'm sorry if I did or said anything wrong," he apologized. "I mean, I know you've all pledged to be naked for the rest of your lives and, uh, I think that's a really great and, uh, commendable thing to do. I'm just not used to, uh, waiting on, uh, naked customers, that's all. Are we OK on that?"
"Well, you seem to be doing just fine," Jennifer remarked as she eyed the obvious bulge in Scott's pants. "Maybe we need to take a look at that."
"Um, I think I better move over here," Scott decided, then he moved further away from Jennifer on his right and closer to Jon, who was on his left.
Karyn poked Jon in the ribs and then, just as Scott was asking if they wanted anything else, Jon started stroking Scott's butt. Scott must have been fairly well confused by then because it took him a few moments to figure out what was going on. But when he did, he jumped several feet in the air and dropped his order pad.
"Would you like me to pick that up for you?" Jennifer asked Scott. Then, when he didn't answer, she stood up, turned away from him, and bent at the waist to retrieve the pad.
Scott jumped again, then swooned, then suddenly calmed down as if he'd made a decision. "Look, you can try and mess with me if you want, but you're not going to intimidate me. You wanna take a pledge and go naked, fine, but I'm gonna look just like anybody else. Now, do any of you want anything more than a coke?"
"Do you know a waitress named Anna who works here?" Joseph asked.
"Yeah, we date sometimes. Today we're on shift together. Why do you ask?"
"Well, she trying to get her clothes off so fast that she's getting tangled in them. You might want to help her out. She right over there near the shake machine," Joseph replied.
Scott hurried over to Anna hoping to stop her, help her out, or at least understand what was going on. Karyn, however, had a question for Jon.
"How do you explain this?" she demanded.
