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13. The queen's morning

12. The princess's morning

11. All together now

10. All hail to her majesty

9. Karyn Chooses

8. Further Complications

7. Royalty

6. Jon's House

5. Yet Another Magic Item

4. Mysterious Trinkets

3. A couple months down the road

2. Jon decides this thing is bad

1. You Are What You Wish

Bookmark: Day in the Life of the Queen

on 2020-01-04 20:00:47
Episode last modified by Enjeubleu on 2020-01-05 21:08:02

1329 hits, 127 views, 4 upvotes.

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Karen was not having a pleasant morning. She wouldn’t go so far to call it nightmarish, but… Actually, scratch that, it was nightmarish.

The High Queen of Tyr was, without a doubt, one of the most significant figures in this stupid setting. Karen would have liked that; it’s nice to feel important, after all. Problem is, being such an important political figure, Queen Seraphina was thusly a very busy woman. This meant that Karen was, like it or not, also a very busy woman.

She had the displeasure of waking up in the early morning to horrible back pains caused by her moronic fantasy-boobs. Figuring that it was around 4 am, she had wanted to go straight back to sleep… But the story had other ideas.

Seraphina was not one to waste time if she could help it; now that she was awake, she could focus on whatever paperwork she couldn’t the day before—law proposals, signing off her permission on random projects, etc. For some horrible reason, she did this in her nightwear—a horrendous combination between a nightdress and lingerie, brazenly showing off the queen’s body in way Karen very much wished it hadn’t.

Karen was forced to sit through this in its entirety, watching her delicately feminine hand write the queen’s beautiful signature over and over again. She had absolutely no control over her upper body; she couldn’t relax the queen’s upright posture, look away, or even speak. At the very least, she could adjust how her legs were positioned under the luxuriously massive desk. Even this was limited, however: anything casual or silly was unallowed, so she was left doing either nothing or crossing one leg over the other. Somehow, the stupid queen’s thighs were too thick to even let that be a simple task.

After nearly three hours of boring, boring paperwork, Karen was ecstatic to hear a polite knock at the door, breaking the monotony.

“Your majesty? We have brought breakfast, as requested.”

“Very well. Bring it in.” This was the first thing Karen had been allowed to say all day, and the five words intimidated even her—despite supposedly being the one to speak them. A surreal beauty with the body of a porn star, and the queen somehow acted with the cold professionalism of a cutthroat businessman.

The elven handmaiden timidly walked in with only a single tray, in obvious awe of the queen’s sheer presence. Karen, in contrast, was mortified to learn that Seraphina had not requested a majestuous feast fit for the royalty she was, but a simple slice of elven bread and honey.

Why!? To have even more time signing papers? Or does she just hate being happy!?

If Karen was gonna be stuck as this person, she should experience at least some perks! Instead, she was starting to resent Queen Seraphina and her joyless way of life more and more.

Thankfully, she was done with the documents for now. Karen instead had the displeasure of having to dress up in another ridiculous gown—boob window and all. It was stupidly difficult to put on, but the queen’s maids (and possible bodyguards; Karen noticed a few semi-concealed weapons) helped her dress with surprising efficiency.

Can you guess what the queen did after this? Karen was hoping, no, begging for anything interesting, maybe some sort of plot hook, or at least an opportunity to explore the tree-palace, even just a quick look outside the window to see her supposed kingdom would suffice. The queen did none of these; just more politics.

Several meetings with diplomats from different elven city-states to discuss trading routes, political alliances or royal visits. Karen hated how long it took them to get any point: they never started with the reason of their visits, but with asinine buttering up that made the girl want to gag. You majesty’s beauty is rivaled only by the splendor of Tyr or _the tales of Tyr’s magical prowess reaches even the streets of Shelnor. Complete bullshit. They could at least waste her time with something important. She was also jealously dismayed to see that, even though all the diplomats were nearly as inhumanly beautiful as she, they all had notably slender frames. It seemed that only she and Jon were cursed with ridiculous curves—must’ve been from being royalty or something.

Speaking of Jon, she hadn’t seen the princess all morning. Karen would have very much liked to check up on how her friend-turned-daughter was doing, but this was not a notable priority to the queen; she was a busy woman who hated anything fun, after all.

Amidst all the uninteresting bullshit, however, Karen did have the pleasure of learning some very interesting information: it seemed that a number of human dominions were at the brink of war of one another, and were all striving to receive military support from Queen Seraphina’s kingdom. Not only that, but her kingdom—Tyr, if Karen remembered correctly—was on the radar of almost every notable territory in the setting. High elves were magical juggernauts, apparently, and Tyr had the only High Elven population that numbered in the tens of thousands.

Now if only Karen could see some actual magic, then things might finally start feeling worth it. Instead, she was stuck doing the boring stuff that the author stupidly thought necessary to write about. Come to think of it, how much more did she have to do today?

“Edea. Tell me, what remains of today's schedule?” Edea was the queen’s petite secretary, following Karen around almost all morning, taking notes and relaying orders as needed. The words mostly came out as intended, but Karen hadn’t meant to sound so darn dispassionate. It was like this with everyone she spoke to: acting all high and mighty, as if she owned the damn place.

Well, technically I do, but that’s besides the point.

“Of course, your majesty.” Edea spoke with a professional calmness reminiscent of the queen’s. This made sense. When one worked directly under High Queen Seraphina, they could not afford to be anything less than perfectly competent, after all. “Your next appointment is... ah yes, your majesty has been called to settle a territory dispute between several nobles. Following this, the board of education is holding a lunch in your honor. They wished to thank your highness for last month’s generous donation.

Okay, this isn’t so bad after all. I might just have most of the afternoon off! Maybe I’ll even be allowed to check out the city, if it’s not too out of character...

“Finally, you’ll be overseeing the preparation for tonight’s summit with the human representatives from Hawre. Though they formally arrived to discuss a potential alliance between our noble kingdom and their... ahem, territory, many—myself included, if I may be so bold to say—believe that they hope to receive Tyr’s military backing in that simply ridiculous human war. Of course, your majesty was without a doubt already aware of this.”

God Dammit! I didn’t buy a sketchy magical bookmark to spend a week playing politician! Edea, please let me do something fun!

“Great Iariala, quelle my wrath. I did not allow those lowly humans into my kingdom to drag us into their childish games! Edea, organize a dress fitting for me and my eldest daughter. Before expelling them, I want the humans to see just how superior the High Eleven Royalty are to their measly selves.”

“A brilliant idea, your majesty. I’ll call the kingdom’s finest dressmaker—with her magical talent, the fitting shouldn’t be more than a few hours.”

Karen was surprised at what came spilling out of her mouth... This was an unexpected outcome, but at least she’d finally get to see Jon.

...

He was gonna kill her for dragging him into this.

Wait... Did she say ‘eldest’ daughter?




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