"I wish that, apart from me, all straight people were gay and that all gay people were straight."
There was a loud "boom" from outside and Jon went outside to see what was happening. The first thing he was was Zoe and Karyn walking up the street, hand in hand. They were obviously an item!
"Hey, Johnny," said Zoe, "How're things?"
"Fine," said Jon. Then he remembered Doug and Steve three doors down. They were a gay couple, and Jon ran over to their house. Suddenly, it flung open and Doug ran out, naked.
Doug ran to Jon, who asked what was happening. "That fucking freak Steve. I wake to find his dick up my arse. I always thought he was straight. God knows what my girlfriend is going to say."
Steve was coming out of the house. "I don't know what happened Doug. I'm not gay! I'm happily married!"
This was clearly a very strange world now!