"I wish I could get some answers out of this stone," Jon wished. The stone glowed and got hot. He had to drop it.
It glowed white and began to expand until it was the size of a boulder. Jon gasped. The stone began to define itself more and more until it appeared to be a human... a woman, curled up in the fetal position, dressed in a Genie's Harem Girl outfit, not unlike the main character of a certain magically-themed 1960's sitcom.
She sat up. She was gorgeous, with impossible curves, an exotic face, dark hair and deep blue eyes. She smiled at Jon. "Ask and you shall receive, big guy."
Jon finally finished gasping and asked, "Um... who are you?"
She stood and smoothed out her outfit. "Why, obviously, I'm the stone, as your grandfather saw me. He had some fascination with an old television programme and wanted me to reflect that. You wanted answers, I'm here to give you them."
"Jon? Jon are you there?" Karyn's voice could be heard over the receiver.
"Oh, um, I wish Karyn were here, to make this a bit easier."
The stone snapped her fingers and Karyn appeared, with wet hair and a towel wrapped around her torso.
"Jon!" she cried out.
"Oh, um, sorry!" Jon cried out, "I wish she was dry and dressed!"
It happened. "Now, what's the big problem?" the stone asked.
"Uh, well, it looks like the school burned down because of my wish," Jon started.
"Well," shrugged the stone, "I wouldn't say that. It was an electrical fire."
"But the fire happened because..."
"Because some dumb electricians installed a fuse wrong, duh," the stone was laughing.
"So you don't take any responsibility for this?" Karyn asked.
"Would you?" the stone said.
"I feel terrible!" Jon said.
"You shouldn't, it's not your fault," reasoned the stone.
"How is that possible? I wished for no school, no school because of fire, my fault! All my fault!"
"And now," Karyn added, "Because of that circumvention wish, Jon can't undo it."
"Who said that?" smirked the stone, reclining on Jon's bed. "Johnny, I'm a wishing stone. I'm capable of anything. I could make you rich. Famous. A sex god. I could make you a goat or a sentient pair of Sarah MacMillain's panties."
"Why would I wish for that?" Jon asked.
"Well it's not so much that you wish for that," the stone laughed, "But I'm very creative. And that silly little circumvention wish? Well that doesn't mean anything as far as I'm concerned. All you need is a little creativity and there's no problem."
"What if I wished there was no school because it was a long weekend?" Jon asked.
"Well," the stone said, "Then it was on this long weekend that the school burned down because of an electrical fire. And that's really a shame, wasn't it?"
"I wish nobody was hurt in the fire," Jon said.
"That's a start," the stone winked.
"I wish the electrical wiring in the school was up to code," Jon added.
"It will be," the stone said, "Once it's re-built."
"Why did the school burn down last night?" Jon asked. "Why not five years ago, or next week?"
The stone rolled her eyes and looked at Karyn. "Because somebody was in cooking class practising with the sandwich-maker to make her friend the best sandwich ever, and forgot to unplug it. The fire spread very rapidly from there."
Karyn screamed out, "Are you saying this is my fault?!"
"Well, that's just how things work out, I guess," the stone grinned. "For now, I'm all about cause and effect. It wouldn't be much fun if the school just burst into flames for no reason, would it? I hope this teaches you a lesson, Karyn."
"But it was Jon's stupid wish!" Karyn complained, on the verge of tears.
"It wasn't a stupid wish," the stone got up and swaggered over to Jon. "Small potatoes, really, when you consider what I'm capable of. What I've done in the past. What I've done to you."
Jon was getting confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Jon, you're looking at a force of magical powers far beyond the scope of human understanding. You've racked up so many miles on me I've lost count of the different realities I've created for you. And then at the end, it always goes back to the beginning. Somehow, you figure out how to undo the horrible horrible thing you've made me do, and we go right back to you showing her the stone and Karyn accidentally making herself a blonde with those massive mammaries. Every single time."
"I don't believe that," Karyn said.
"Believe it, sweetie," the stone pretended to tickle Karyn under her chin, much to Karyn's annoyance. "Sometimes you and Jon get together. Sometimes you and Jon become enemies. Sometimes Jon becomes a girl. Actually, that happens a lot, but really I just go looking for ways to make that happen. Your reactions to the ole magical-vaginoplasty never get old."
"I wish I couldn't ever become a girl!" Jon cried out.
The stone smiled. "Well of course you can't, you silly boy. Boys don't just turn into girls. Not unless somebody makes a wish to that effect."
"But grampa said that wishes can't be undone..." Jon said, "And I just wished..."
"Your grampa, what a sourpuss," the stone said. "He wrote that down hoping you wouldn't get too drunk with power. But you usually do, anyway. I'm sorry, am I ruining it for you? Do you just want to wish you could wake up again this morning and start over?"
"Yes, I--"
"Well," the stone interrupted, "That wouldn't stop the school from burning down."
"Would you please just tell me how to un-do the fact that my wish made the school burn down?"
The stone sighed. "You're an even bigger drip than your grampa. All you have to do is learn to be responsible."
"I am responsible!"
"Responsible people don't burn down schools and pass the blame on to their best friends."
"I wish that I was a responsible person!" he cried out.
The stone smirked and snapped her fingers. She turned back into a stone and dropped to the floor. The place glowed bright for a second and...
