"Uh, how?" Jeff asked the nurse. His attention had somehow drifted to her left breast, which bore the nametag Wanda Whette, RN.
"Just go in the bathroom, moisten a paper towel, and wipe yourself," Nurse Whette replied.
"Uh, should I do that front-to-rear or the other way?" Jeff inquired. It seemed Nurse Whette was starting to get a little peeved, but somewhat amused as well. Not that Jeff wanted to drag things out and avoid reporting to class...
"No back-to-front is when you urinate," the nurse told him.
"I'm not sure I have that down pat yet," Jeff stated as sincerely as possible, given the situation. "How do I do that?"
"I think I've got some pamphlets about feminine hygiene stashed away somewhere," Nurse Whette replied impatiently. "I'll look for them. Meanwhile, you sit down, and possibly lean forward, pull back inside yourself, relax, wipe, and then pull up your pants. Which wouldn't be a bad idea anyway. You can't spend the rest of your life with your pants around your ankles, you know. And you really should be getting back to class."
A few minutes later Jeff had successfully finished his tasks in the nurse's bathroom. Nurse Whette had found the pamphlets and had one ready for him, but then she held back.
"So this, uh, transfer you experienced -- how does it work?" she asked evenly.
Jeff wasn't sure if he should reveal a magic secret like that, but he did want the pamphlet Nurse Whette was holding. He also needed a note so he wouldn't be marked tardy to class. So, after a moment's thought, he explained, "It's really for curses. The woman writes her name and some magic words on a piece of paper, then she burns it, then the next guy who touches the ashes receives her curse. But if the curse is a girl's monthly period..."
"OK, I got it," the nurse interrupted. "But what are the magic words?"
Jeff told her, then the nurse handed over the pamphlet and the note. "Come back again if you have any special difficulties," she told Jeff.
"OK, I will," he replied, then Jeff hurried off to class. Somehow, those last few minutes in the nurse's office had seemed a little weird. As if strolling dickless through the empty hallways wasn't a lot weird. But then there were other parts Jeff hadn't really examined yet... Parts of him, uh, self... Perhaps a stop in the washroom...
Then suddenly Jeff was outside the classroom door. The whole class stared at him as he entered, and Jeff tried to convince himself this was only because he was late. They couldn't possibly see the difference inside his jeans, could they?
The teacher quickly accepted the nurse's note and told Jeff to sit down. Jeff took his usual place, then pulled the textbook out of his backpack and opened it. Then, just as he found the correct page number, he heard a soft giggle from the next row.
It was Gloria Wintz, the blonde standout on the school dance line, and she was staring directly at Jeff's feminine hygiene pamphlet! It must have fallen out as he reached for his textbook, Jeff realized! And now not only Gloria, but also Hilde Bowman and Irene Casper, two of her artsy but athletic-built friends, were staring at it as well!
