Allison's mood was sour. She wasn't sad. Not exactly. She still contended with a healthy heaping of self loathing, but had managed to turn her woes into annoyance during her walk to school. She ran her fingers through her waist length hair and grimaced. She had stared into the mirror almost all morning. She wanted to cut her hair. She knew it was the first step in taking back her life. She could even imagine all sorts of awesome punk styles, but every time she brought the blade to those silky black strands, she couldn't do it. She stared at her reflection, sheers in hand, until Zoe began banging on the door.
Now here she sat, in her home room class, with long fucking hair. She brushed a loose strand from her eyes for the thousands time that morning, and imagined just pulling it all out and going around bald for the day. The thought brought a smile to her face but little more. She sighed, and slumped down on her desk while the teacher droned on about the lunch menu. "After school..." She muttered softly to herself. "I'll get it cut first thing after school..."
Her thoughts drifted as she meandered to her first period class. She could probably make a trip to the mall and get some new clothes too. Even if she didn't have balls any longer, tight jeans still sucked, and it might give her the chance to get something a little more masculine to wear. This girl only had so many rock n' roll T's, and she had no plans to wear the more frilly, girly attire she found in her closet. Her sneakers weren't too bad, just silver and pink, but they were the only pair of shoes she was comfortable wearing, so maybe she should get some of those too. She sorted through her messy locker and was fortunate enough to find a scrunchy and began running her fingers through her hair to fix the elastic band in place just when her phone buzzed. The text read, "Hey babe mat room 2day?" It was from Ryder. She shoved it back in her backpack with frustration. He was persistent if nothing else. Though honestly, she had no idea why. Ryder could have any girl he wanted, why was he so obsessed with her? All star wide receiver, summa cum laude, and he drove a classic 1969 GT corvette to school! What type of family buys their kid a classic corvette? Allison even knew who he was from before her botched wish, how couldn't she? And for some reason this brilliant, all star, sexy man wanted he...
She shook her head. What was wrong with her? Sexy? She huffed and rolled her eyes back. She was just jealous, not envious. She wanted to be him, not be with him, she insisted. Still... There was some unrecognized satisfaction in being desired by someone like that... She was more desirable than any other girl in the school. She threw her pack over one shoulder, and crossed her arms, but as she walked a subtle smirk stuck to her face.
Coach Dunning had started rambling about something he'd seen on the news that day, and that always meant no work in class. Not that social studies was necessarily hard, but it was still nice to be able to do nothing. She examined her fingernails and realized there was still some polish stuck on her cuticle. She picked at it, and looked a little closer, somewhat surprised she hadn't seen it before. It was a sangria red, she conclude, with a shimmering glass to it. As she picked at it, she couldn't help but wonder what she'd look like fully ornamented with makeup and nail polish. She did NOT want to wear it, but... But, she was a beautiful girl, and maybe she could have fun with the body even if she didn't want to be stuck in it. For a moment she indulged in the fantasy of getting in some sexy negligee she found when cleaning, dolling herself up in makeup, and putting on a show for herself. She could see herself before the mirror, staring into her own shadowy longing gaze, her open pouty lips, her luxurious silken hair. She would slide her hands along the curves of her body, and stretch one smooth elegant leg out, then cup her breasts with her hands. She took in a deep sensual breath, and nibbled on her bottom lip. No wonder Ryder was crazy about her. She was crazy about herself. She smirked, and glanced down to her phone. He was still begging for her, even after a week.
Maybe she should see him in the mat room. She rubbed her legs together as her body began to flush with excitement. She could show him what he's not getting, after all she's smoking hot even in just a T shirt and jeans. He'd beg, and try to wrap her in his muscular embrace, or steal kisses from her lips. Maybe he'd take her hand and make some grand apology or promise. He'd hold her close to his body, and his tough, coarse hands would brush her hair from her face, then cradle her cheek. She'd feel his stubble as he leaned in for a kiss. Her belly fluttered with excitement, and she snapped back to her sense. Her arousal was wicked away like heat under a damp cloth. "What's wrong with me!" She whispered sharply. While her mind was sober again, she realized her body was still quite hot and her cheeks flushed. "Why do I keep thinking about... him?" She couldn't bring herself to say his name. "I need to talk to Karen." She sighs while rubbing her eyes.
She looked for Karen during the morning break. She needed to talk to her in person about how to deal with Ryder. She didn't trust herself to do it alone... She roamed the halls where Karen's locker is. She searched the cafeteria where they used to meet when she was still Jon. She even checked her next classes. Nothing. No Karen anywhere! She grumbled softly, as the bell rang forcing her to go about her day. It was still an hour until she had study hall. She could go and tell Ryder off by herself then. She makes it through the next class nervously. Her knee's are bouncing, her eyes are flitting throughout the room. She never even tries to tune in to what the teacher is saying. Instead she spends her time coming up with the perfect way to tell Ryder off. She wants to let him that he doesn't have a chance with her, but a vindictive edge maker her want to do it in a flirty way, so he regrets it.
When study hall came, she turned away from the library, and Joshua. She passes through the open courtyard between the main school, and the gym. She slips into the atrium, where she can hear the freshmen kids shouting and screaming in the gymnasium. She passes the concession stand and sneaks into the halls behind the locker rooms. There's the coaches office... The weight room... Storage room... and at last. The mat room. With a deep breath, she pushes into the dark chamber.
