Catnip

Well there's a change of perspective for you: One minute you've finally worked up the courage to confront your no-good, son-of-a-bitch, soon-to-be-ex-boss and tell him that how little you need this piss-ant job, thanks for letting your wife think you're a cock-sucking slut, so don't bother calling again, and the next minute you're one foot tall and chasing mice.
Okay, I haven't actually seen a mouse yet, but it was a bit unsettling to stop to reason out exactly what happened only to realize I had started licking my crotch! Eeuww!
Anyways, there I was, less than a foot tall with whiskers. And don't even think I'll ever be the Catwoman for Halloween again"”if I ever get out of this, that is.
I still don't know what happened, other than that thank you. That bitch did something and then I just shrunk and sprouted hair. And did it hurt like hell!
Don't think I'm going to forget that you conniving mother of--! And to think I had actually been feeling sorry for her, being married to such a two-timing, lecherous windbag! Maybe I shoulda fucked him!
Sorry, getting carried away again.
Anyways, somehow, against all reason, I was suddenly a cat. In fact, as best I could tell, I was a twin of the family cat. How did that work in, I didn't know. I only knew that I wouldn't find out if Bitchwoman suspected that I was paying attention.
Now how do these things work? Right! There they are! Nice and sharp! Guess you missed a clipping lately, eh Buttons?
Look, I got nothing against the cat. It's cute as far as furballs go. But it still had to go. I mean who knows what else the bitch would do to me if she knew it was me hanging around?
So I waited for dear, genteel Mrs. Witherspoon"”no wonder it withered!"”to go up stairs. Then I snuck back in the kitchen to look for my doppelganger. I found her nibbling on some of that disgusting stuff people feed us"”er, cats, that is, under the counter.
It took a little work, after that, but I set up a couple of aids. It's not like I got hands, you know. Fortunately, most cats are easily frightened and Buttons was, of course, too stupid to know she was being set up.
There she was chomping away, when as sack of bread plops on her back. As soon as it started to fall, I mentally crossed fingers and jumped. The swat her across the nose immediately abbreviated button's yowl as she streaked for the door with me in pursuit, slowing at the cat-door cause I didn't want to rear-end the fuzz ball until after she got her bell rung by the ball I'd pushed over to the entrance.
Another well aimed swat and Buttons bolted over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Yep. That yard. I already had Benji's evil in-law a little worked up and ready to take Buttons for a little romp around his playhouse. Yeah, she eventually got away but the whole thing sent her away"”hopefully for at least a day or two.
About then the Mrs. came running back down the stairs half naked. I met her by the food bowl, smacking my lips and looking at her innocently as if I'd just finished the vomit inducer in the bowl and then casually strolled over to rub against her leg. Hopefully that kind of bitchy doesn't rub off!
She scolded me lightly, picked me up and scratched my ears. It did feel kinda nice and before I knew it I was purring like a well tuned Beemer, if only there was a way to dodge that fetid breath!
She carried me back to her bedroom and let me lay on the bed as she finished undressing. Way to let yourself go, you bitch. No wonder he doesn't want you anymore.
But then, as I watched, I saw the most incredible thing! Okay, first the Bitch squeezed into my bra, stretching it all out of proportion! There's another $60 you owe me, you cow! And then she picks up that coin"”yeah the same one she'd asked me to hand her down in the kitchen"”and just stares at it all excited and glowering like.
I like that word, glowering, but hadn't had a really good reason to use it until now.
Well, anyways, at first she just looks like some old middle-aged fruit loop trying to get off on, well, who knows what in someone elses underwear. But then it started! I couldn't believe my eyes!
Let me tell you, the only thing freakier than seeing someone changed for the first time, is watching them turn into you! Or the you you just were, anyways!
She dropped the coin right away but the change kept happening over, I don't know, maybe 15 minutes. I have to say she didn't look all that comfortable during the process but she certainly didn't scream like I did neither. It must hurt more, the more differences between what you were and what you're becoming.
The important thing, though, was that I finally understood what was happening as the coin rolled across the floor.