(Note: The dangers of funny speech patterns...)
"Karyn, this is intolerable! One will-" Jon paused, surprised at her own words. "One will be the laughing stock at school! And apparently, one can't help but say 'one' when talking about oneself "
"Well I don't know about a laughing stock, Princess," said Karyn with her eyes wide. "I think those big bags of charm on your chest will make you very popular with the boys "
"Karyn, one finds it alarming enough to have an elite, heaving bosom! One does not need nor wish to think of being ogled by hormonal boys. One still has the mind of a hormonal boy and let one tell you, these tits are driving it crazy! One wishes one still had one's magic stone, to fix this dreadful mess!"
Much to Jon's distress, Karyn didn't seem to be taking her predicament seriously. When Karyn finally stopped laughing, she shrugged and merely said, "Relax Jon."
"Relax? Of course. Thank you for that sage advice. That really lifts a great weight from one's chest."
"Oh no, British sarcasm!" Karyn faked a fearful shudder. "Remember what the shopkeeper said, you'll only be an elf princess of porn for a week, then everything will work out. And look on the bright side "“ you actually get to experience a luxurious life of royalty for a week! Do you realise how many little girls would be insanely jealous of you right now?"
"One despairs for the youth of today."
"I'm jealous of you," Karyn added, "crazy jealous! You get to be pampered for a whole week, and wear beautiful, expensive jewels, and you know for a random pick, you probably chose the best character in the book. The other stuff is just small potatoes, Princess."
"'Small' is assuredly not the appropriate word," Jon sighed, and her giant breasts heaved. "And please not address one as 'Princess', but say 'your highness' "
"Your highness?" Karyn snorted a laugh.
"One one honestly meant to say 'Jon'. That just slipped out."
"Well, 'your highness', it sounds like there really is some princess in you," Karyn smiled. "I wouldn't worry about school either. You're going to have the life of a princess as well as the body. If any one laughs at you then hell, you can probably have them beheaded for treason or something. I doubt you even have to go to school."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Look around you your highness, do you remember always having a four-poster bed?" Karyn sat on the plump bedcovers on the enormous antique bed.
"Mmm, it's so soft," she said and rolled onto her back, sinking almost out of sight into the voluminous duvet.
"Wow, in the last few minutes, one's room has become huge!" Jon examined the ornate wooden furniture that dwarfed her old room's contents. Her office desk had become a dresser, her comfy beanbag chair a vanity screen, her wardrobe a significantly larger wardrobe. "How did one not notice earlier?"
"Your highness' life is slowly catching up with the change caused by the bookmark. Who knows how much has changed?"
"Well one still has one's PC and TV, so our technology seems to be intact," Jon looked over her dresser. "One's i-Pod is here too."
"One's One-Pod!" Karyn giggled.
"It seems to be combining our modern life with Allaria's fantasy life, not overwriting one with the other."
"So long as that means we still have chapstick and toilet paper, I'm happy."
The window from Jon's room was now a tall gothic arch with lilac drapes. As she peered down over the sill, Jon saw the ground looked much further away than her old 2nd floor bedroom window was. "We must be in a tower, the ground is at least 50ft away! One's house looks like a castle!"
Jon caught her reflection in the recently-created giant mirror that covered the entire south wall of her room. Jon's gaze lingered on the way her huge breasts were moved by her breathing. She saw the reflection of her friend in the mirror and turned to her. "Big mirror. She was a vain princess, this Allaria character?"
"I've not read the book myself," Karyn shrugged, "but since she was a good princess in the story, probably not as vain as other princesses. But compared to peasants? She has more wealth and more free time than peasants, so she can afford more mirrors and waste more time looking in them. It's all relative I guess, your highness."
"Karyn, are you aware that you're still calling one 'your highness'?"
"I honestly meant to say 'Jon'. That just slipped out. Odd."
"So you're doing it automatically?"
"I guess so. Does your highness think it's because your highness told me to?"
"Yes one thinks so. One could suppose it's because you're a commoner and I'm royalty, or maybe you're my servant?"
"Oh no, I think your highness is right, "Karyn's mouth was agape. "Why else would a common girl be in your bedroom? I'm your highness' handmaiden! Or lady-in-waiting, I'm not sure what the difference is."
Karyn saw the familiar mischievous smile broadening across Jon's unfamiliar female face.
"One's servant must attend to her highness' needs "
