Recent comments

Does anyone else in the school have blog of their own?

@The_Guest, honestly I just really wanted to write some Jocelynne in first-person without breaking the third-person narrative flow, and was like "how can I justify a giant monologue to nobody while she's still in school?" :-p

I'm happy to know in Lake Point, people still blog.

Great stuff. I saw one of your earlier comments that you use FB as an anti-block tool when you write other stories. Is your other work similar and if so, where can I find it?

Picture changed and text amended to reflect this. I must have missed it the first time round

Adding this comment just to say: the AI image could be better, because 3 arms

I'm going in another direction, but please continue this.

Thank you for the explanation on that.

Also I wanted to say, I thought about having “we” to include Jon and having it not count that he’s already a part of Karyn’s body and having Karyn grow 2 tails in place of her nipples in addition to a “normal” tail, but didn’t put that in because although that would be an interesting twist, I didn’t think it actually had any potential to any future plot to needlessly leave her with tentacle nipples. But in case anyone wants to make further chapters and might want to use that idea, the idea hasn’t necessarily been written out, Karyn could just be hiding it from Sarah who hasn’t actually looked up at her upper body or something.

Since I wrote this...a novel and a TV show are now named Dark Matter.

I can't wait to see what additional changes Nicole makes

@Ms. Cork - I'd wonder what normal people would make of that, but then I don't imagine normal people coming 'round my gallery in the first place XD

I love how, without any context, the title "Jon the Entirely Normal Girl" makes less and less sense for that picture with every word you read. But within the context of that branch, it works.

At the risk of gushing, what a wonderful use of parallelism as a method of narrative framing and storytelling -- it doesn't merely provide comparisons, or even continuity, but instead carries the theme and the story forward.

"Nicole's whimsical control."

I guess that's technically correct, since Nicole is just pursuing any whim she has at the moment without considering the consequences, but I'd call her cruel.

All hail this excellent story, turning themes familiar to these archetype characters on its head jn new and sexy ways.

So according to the ID card Jon would still be attracted to girls right?

Can't wait to see where you go with it! Recently been thinking about adding again, myself.

your story is very interesting. I hope you continue

I’m wondering if Karyn is so far gone that she would use the stone if something is even slightly wrong with her relationship with Jon in her perspective

A4 equivalent in the US is letter sized paper.

A land that is a mix of the U.S and the U.K I am from the U.K so some of the details of U.S life I may get a little out.

A4? Where is this set?

I can easily relate to this one. I've seen malls I've known from my childhood suffer similar fates (some worse than others). Even though you know why it's happening (changing economic situations, brick and mortar stores facing competition from online retailers, the end of many 'anchor store' chains, failure to adapt with the times), it's still sad to see a once lively and thriving shopping mall become a shell of its former self, sometimes with whole sections full of empty store locations. Some malls that aren't as dependent on 'anchor stores' might fare better than those that had three or four but are reduced to one, but the fact remains that malls aren't what they used to be. A lot of book store and music store chains that were fixtures of malls are just fond memories of years gone by now.

It can be strange to be sad about a shopping mall's decline, but some of us still get nostalgic about them and wish they could become more like the thriving busy places we remember.

I like the way of ending the episode, with a note of ambiguity. If Jon accidentally spoke that wish out loud and didn't know the stone had returned, there are so many different ways the wish could be interpreted. So it's not surprising there's already multiple branches from this episode.

This is great! Really like how you have Jon playing with each individual compulsion.

Thanks. Yeah it’s a mostly benign enforcer of the rules. the rules are fuzzy though and I think each arbiter has its own measure of right and wrong … exceptions may even be possible.

Sensible regulation. Just a guide saying don't do that.

This was really good. Wasn’t expecting the two to turn into each other.

@AnonyMouse what is it the kids say nowadays? "Game recognizes game"? Thank you for your kind words :)

He really only needed to walk half a mile before returning home because he would have picked up the other half mile in the way back. 😉

This, right here, is why I so appreciate your compliments. This is a great twist on some familiar themes and written engagingly and concisely. So glad to have this thread resume.

@nothingsp Yay!

@Great Sage: Well, she won't be making any wishes just yet...her calendar's full tomorrow ;)

Welcome back, please stay :D

Splendid and beautiful, I'm now terrified Joni will make a stupid wish that ruins all this adorable wholesomeness

Wonderful as always. Your writing makes me want to improve. One of the highlights of my week.

Very cute. I do love fairies being fairies…

Thank you both for the kind words. I sort of went too far and turned this whole thing into a novella, and now I'm basically pruning it down so that it won't be 200 branches deep. The good news is that, subject to minor revisions and major reactions, it's done; the bad news is that I have to revise and redact to get there.

Glad to see you back, AnonyMouse. This story is a whirl, but a beautiful whirl. <3

Did not even need to read the chapter before I knew it deserved an upvote. So glad to see this thread getting a new addition after such a long break. Life can get in the way, and that takes priority. But it's good to see you back :)

The clothes of an average teenager were made for a sexy little girl?

Heh, thanks. I figured this was a setup that could go in quite a few different directions and build on what Thisisnoone already established with old Jon's life. Hopefully folk will enjoy it.

Great set up Gooose! Super excited to see where you go with this

"Operation Rock Hard" as chapter 69.

Nice. :)

Intriguing set-up. Lots of fun possibilities here, I wonder what direction you'll go?

I'm a bit confused: I understand why Linda essentially has two personalities -- she is a queen but keeps her sense of self. I don't understand why Jon does, too: Yes, he heard the wish, but that simply means he would know why he's suddenly acting (which apparently and quite reasonably includes thinking) as befits his/her station.

Not so much left as time has overwhelmed me. The story outline is done, the lore and timelines are long done, the next four episodes are basically done, I just need (a lot of) time to finish them. The kind words, however, are appreciated.

Looking forward to see more! Curious if it's now a kingdom of elves, or if that's only the elite/royal family. Also looking forward to see Jeanne have to bluff/deal with any new social connections.

This is a wonderful chapter as always, but I'm starting to become especially infatuated with the characterization of the Princess in Jon's thoughts, here. She's super cute, from what I'm gathering; well done!

Loved the development and how you tied up this story. Congratulations, I enjoyed every chapter a lot.

I don't know what you still have in mind for this story, but I would be happy to see more of all those characters settling down inti their new lives for good and how Ruby will be conceived in that night ;)

@Great Sage - it was more of a lampshade for the pysanky mentioned in the next chapter, to dress up as mere flavor text what was actually a bit of foreshadowing ;) But that works, too...