Me too. Not that I don't have an idea... but sometimes someone else posts something and I go off in a different direction with them. Advantage of the site. But what do you think?
By The Guest -
On The Hacker
o_o
By Zelo -
Curious... most curious. Wonder where this plot point will lead us?
By Zelo -
On The Hacker
I was originally gonna have a whole back-and-forth between Linda and the voice, where they kept interrupting each other and adding to the wish. This version ended up being a whole lot more fun to write
By Enjeubleu -
Let's hope there custom characters
By Eldridge -
On Another Branch where Jon becomes the Protagonist of a Video Game (Very Original)
Original premise or not, this was a fantastically done intro. I’m excited to see where you take this!
By Enjeubleu -
On Another Branch where Jon becomes the Protagonist of a Video Game (Very Original)
Early branch point in what I intend to be a longer series.
By Matisguy -
On Another Branch where Jon becomes the Protagonist of a Video Game (Very Original)
I really have to reiterate, your teasing dialogue is so good! This a great add
But also, CaptainAmericaICanDoThisAllDay.gif
By Fungi & Flowers -
On The Important Things in Life
They definitely are. Thinking of pivoting
By The Guest -
On Karyn's Friend is Sabrina, Not Jon
Or someone else's friend. I'm guessing Yuki thinks that he's her friend right now because she has Karyn's jumper. But Karyn is also still Karyn, despite her personality change, so that's why she still might think that she's friends with Jon? I feel like things are still in flux.
By Anonymous51 -
On Karyn's Friend is Sabrina, Not Jon
It's been a very sadly long time since I've had an opportunity to play episode tennis like this. Game on, F&F!
By Matisguy -
On The Important Things in Life
If Jon is also affected, and he seems to be anxious around people, would he end up as Yuki's friend?
By The Guest -
On Karyn's Friend is Sabrina, Not Jon
This episode is so good! I think you write teasing much better than I do. Mine is basically taking normal dialogue and peppering in some mean words, but yours is much more cohesive and creative. Handing the stone to Karyn and expanding on what "teasing" means is such a nice touch. The conclusion is really open ended, too, which makes for a ton of different possibilities. I assume no one cares about my comments, but listing some for my own sake:
The story shifts focus to Karyn, and the wishes she forces on Jon over the next hour. They have some history together, so I think they could play off each other in fun ways.
Karyn takes advantage of her new power for a bit, but then the stone makes its way through the hands of his mom, Zoe, and/or Biff, any or each of them getting a turn changing Jon.
Karyn has a bit of fun, but then David comes home and the stone passes to him, and he sets the grounds for his relationship with his "new" wife.
Jon himself gets the stone back, but either because of his own proclivities or the wish that ANYONE would use it negatively on him, he uses it to dig himself in deeper.
We make it all the way to the next day when Sue takes over, but the wish applies to her as well, and she's forced to make things worse for herself.
Those are some easy ones, but they could be mixed and matched, too. If someone wanted to do something different, there are a lot of ways out of this, too. Maybe the 'you' in the last wish only applies to Jon, and is negated when Sue takes over. Or Jon could be forced to blurt out the opposite of how he feels when using the wishing stone, undoing some of the damage. A back and forth struggle over Jon's body could be fun, but I'm also enjoying this slow, steady descent quite a bit already.
Thanks so muh for going to the trouble to write this, especially at the risk of motion sickness! I really appreciate it!
By Fungi & Flowers -
This branch is getting extremely good
By R13 -
Took a page from the Cool Missus Cork playbook and wrote this episode entirely while on a plane ride. Almost got motion sick from it, lol.
By Matisguy -
I appreciate you saying so!
I added the "sometimes" into the last wish because I didn't want to hem anyone else in if there's a point later where it's better storywise for Jon to say genuinely how he's feeling. If you have any ideas or requests I'd love to hear them!
By Fungi & Flowers -
Hot damn this is a great chapter! I already love how everyone is talking to Jon! And his little verbal ticks are going to make these last few wishes really interesting. Really love the direction you're taking this in, please keep it up!
By MaryMary -
If you can come up with a better one that I can use here let me know on Discord. BTW I have read some of your stuff you are clever :)
By Ms-Scarlett-Raven -
That's fair, I just wanted to seem clever for a moment :-p
By Ms. Cork -
If he wasn't too busy trying to work out the bigger picture I would agree. I had to use that one as the one I wanted use wouldn't work.
By Ms-Scarlett-Raven -
Tvsfmz, Kpo jt tnbsu fopvhi up dsbdl uibu dpef, jto'u if?
By Ms. Cork -
For me, it was:
milf tf hot
By Fungi & Flowers -
Well, on the first part, you actually read my mind. I was going to have his words vanish after 4AM.
By The Guest -
Comment deleted. Cool your jets my friend. We're all here to have fun, and authors are entitled to write the stories how they wish. Feedback is one thing, but don't be an ass about it.
By Perri -
Man, what is it about this branch that draws so many high quality additions from so many different authors?
By Matisguy -
Going to try some more mixed media stuff, so going to include a song to go with the reading. The chef recommends https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fwh7c6UT0U
Also trying out some AI art. I'll probably still use real life pics when necessary. The only thing I can promise is that I won't be consistent in the least bit.
By MaryMary -
On Sisters, Sisters, There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters
This is about the extent of what I have planned concretely for now. Hopefully, it gets across everything y'all need to know about this concept, if anyone feels like running with it.
By Matisguy -
Been a long time, huh? Something big happened irl that's kept me away from writing for the past few months, but hopefully now I can start getting back in the habit. Starting off with something a lot lewder than normal for me, too.
By Matisguy -
On Lily, the Succubish Genassi
Not sure where I'm going with this, just felt the desire to write.
By Perri -
On Hallway
True. Gooose’s branches are one of the best. Hope to see more from them
By Endless -
Great start! Can't wait to read more.
By jessica.cave -
Thanks for the kind words. This was relatively early in the storyline. I thought it would be a great idea having multiple DTH Jons and Karyns have events play out differently based on butterfly effect/chaos theory. Unfortunately it gets too confusing keeping track. (At one point, I posted a diagram to discord). I managed to reintegrate them quite quickly and keep the storyline generally focused on the prime Jon and Karyn. I can still call on the alternate versions as required.
By Lido -
LOL. The 'flower petal' dimension is now an important part of DTH lore.
By Lido -
This was early days for the DTH and I hadn't quite settled on the mechanics of time travel. It is very easy to get yourself tied in knots with causality. I tend to keep it simple now and avoid paradoxes by creating a new dimension each time they go back up a timeline. That way nothing contradicts with Jon and Karyn's memories which are immutable.
By Lido -
On DTH: Hop 4 - Meanwhile out in the hall
Agreed another great chapter. Gooose's posts are always some of my favorite and this thread is no exception.
By jessica.cave -
Creative honestly
By iamweirdo -
NO! YOU CREATED AN INFINITE LOOP YOU FOOF-
By Zelo -
I wonder if this is a case of a "stable time loop"? We shall see...
By Zelo -
On DTH: Hop 4 - Meanwhile out in the hall
Great, the first choice ("Hop 3 - Jon is stumped") and I'm already confused 😵. Fantastic branch concept though, love how it sort of leans on the fourth wall (you're literally jumpping between other branches). Already looks like lots of fun.
By Zelo -
I am still keen to continue the storyline. I have a few possible timelines in mind. I am trying to keep it kind of original without retreading old plot ideas. The extended multiverse is Chompy's Multi-dimension gun on the TDB. It starts here https://fictionbranches.net/fb/story/4858866 . I am keeping it open as an option for a possible multiverse to visit that is distinct from the magic stone timelines.
By Lido -
On DTH: Hop 33 - What to do about Zoe
Sorry about the delay in my response, I've been busy IRL. Thank you for the kind words.
By Lido -
On DTH: Hop 15 - It Cannot Be Lost
This is just a fantastic showcase of mindset through dialogue. I love how you wrote Jon here and can hear this conversation so crystal clear. Everything is I did this, I broke up with him, but Biff cheated on you. I'm betting if Jon got to expand on that statement, he'd be sure to let Sarah know there was no chance of that happening if he was in the driver seat sooner.
Another fantastic piece of writing, you always nail the little details. Can't wait for the next add!
By MaryMary -
Insane branch that I'd recommend reading. Lots of branching timeline stuff in weird ways. It's also not smut like most of the branches on the site, which is an interesting change of pace.
By iamweirdo -
This is an interesting branch. Curious to see where it's going and what this extended multiverse from last chapter is.
By iamweirdo -
On DTH: Hop 33 - What to do about Zoe
This branch is absolutely insane and I love it
By iamweirdo -
On DTH: Hop 15 - It Cannot Be Lost
Thank you, lifesmainantagonist.
By Bunnie -
Your comment so perfectly sums up the vibe I was feeling when I wrote that chapter. For people of a certain age the mall was such a staple of life. You could shop, hang out with friends, watch a movie, get something to eat, etc... Seeing so many malls today that are on the brink of failure does make me pine for the good ole days. I'm sure that people who lived before the rise of the shopping mall feel the same way about city centers and "down towns". Vibrant down towns were slowly killed by the rise of the shopping mall, just like the internet is slowly killing the shopping mall.
By ThisIsNoOne -
On Jon stops by the Lake Point Mall
I love blogs. And webrings. And guestbooks. I miss the classic web.
By The Guest -
@Ms-Scarlett-Raven, Presumably everyone else who's in this particular Computer Science class, but I suppose anyone for whom having a blog might be convenient to the plot may have their own blog.
By Ms. Cork -
I started learning to write early days as Xyzzy then Xyzzy2 when I lost the account. Looking back some of it is quite cringe worthy. I have 3 old stories on Fictionmania (Virtual Vacation, Virtual Vacation 2, and The Inheritance). The first of which I didn't even understand starting a new paragraph for a speaker change.
I gathered together one of my long sequences of Altered Fates branches and reformatted and completed it as a short novel and e-book experiment. It's available as a free e-book from Smashwords: "Shrink Racked" by Jaime Sparkz.
Currently I'm working on another e-book and I'm in the worst stage for me, the wrap up. So far I'm around 160 pages. Maybe by year end?
At any rate, feel free to jump in anywhere!
By LimitedPower -
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