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And yeah love what you're doing with the contrast between Jon and Karyn's characters. And the excerpt from the awful fantasy novel. Personally I was never sure if the world the bookmark generated should match what it was used on 100% or just the essence of it. But I think you're getting a lot out of it being a specific setting.

By ThePro - 2020-01-06 17:42:00

On Back to Karyn



I was always a sucker for the adolescent romance overtones of the first chapter between Jon and Karyn, to be honest. Although you could do a similar thing if Karyn was bi thus eliminating the choice for her while leaving that subplot open as a possibility. Alternatively, could just screw the both of them again. They're blessed by a fertility goddess right? Meaning, breeding. Maybe other elves are just fine with what anyone might get up to sexually, but the royal family is always 100% straight.

But really, I trust you to come up with something good. I'm quite eager.

By ThePro - 2020-01-06 17:40:57

On Back to Karyn



Thanks! I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter; per the tell-not-show rule of all good-bad literature, none of the skills Edea was listed of having will ever be made relevant. As for Karyn, I'd thought I could make her a good contrast to Jon. If one’s gonna be the passive female protagonist with the agency of a lamp, the other’s gonna be a ridiculous self-insert with infuriatingly little personality. I’m also considering having Karyn be queer, just to bully her with the “only straight white people in fantasies” trope. What are your thoughts?

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-06 16:05:30

On Back to Karyn



Which is not to say that you should rush to that scene. I'm enjoying what you're doing and this characterization of Karyn. If you have something more planned here I'm also eager to see it. Or if you want to continue Jon's romantic interlude. Great job.

By ThePro - 2020-01-06 14:09:09

On Back to Karyn



Good stuff. Seraphina is a biiiit of a Mary Sue I see. Can't wait to see what you had in mind for the meeting with Jon.

By ThePro - 2020-01-06 14:05:17

On Back to Karyn



I like where you seem to be going with the edits but it really wasn't necessary. And thanks for the praise.

By ThePro - 2020-01-06 08:55:14

On An accidental meeting in a garden.



Can’t wait to see how you write Lauren’s night in her new body and what you do with Lonna exploring her new boyfriend!

By Switcher - 2020-01-05 23:05:33

On Meanwhile outside in the corridor



I submitted a few edits on the “day in the life of the Queen” episode to make it fall more in line with how you developed the story.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-05 19:31:47

On An accidental meeting in a garden.



It's been an absolute delight reading your addition to the story. Especially how you turned my offhand remark on a human diplomat into a full on plot point; I can imagine this storyline turning into quite the headache for the two unwilling protagonists.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-05 16:11:05

On An accidental meeting in a garden.



So yeah pulled out something here that used to be one of the most cringe-inducing "conflicts" in the worst examples of fantasy. Female lead that has a unique striking feature that she's convinced makes her ugly until the male lead proves with the approval of his dick that she's really beautiful all along.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 14:45:43

On An accidental meeting in a garden.



I've got one more in me, this was just getting too long. Done in just a bit, sorry.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 14:07:12

On Even more of Jon's morning.



Ok make that three. I'm gonna go ahead and post two so I don't lose them then get the third out real quick, then it's all you.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 14:05:06

On Back to Jon



Next bit will be two episodes with Jon, then I'm spent for now.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 13:30:15

On Back to Jon



Next bit will be two episodes with Jon, then I'm spent for now.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 13:30:15

On Back to Jon



Hell yeah! Go for it. I'm excited to see what you have planned.
EDIT: I didn't see your latest comment from last episode until now--I think you should write the next one. I have a few plans to further develop Karen's perspective, but they'd fit best in the lunch scene.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-05 12:51:55

On Back to Jon



Hell yeah! Go for it. I'm excited to see what you have planned.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-05 12:07:53

On Back to Jon



Well I was actually planning to introduce the love interest and an old bad-fantasy cliché about female leads when I first started writing.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 12:06:04

On Back to Jon



Well geez. This is, quite frankly, amazing. Looks like I'll have to step up my writing game to maintain this level of quality. May I ask what scene you were hoping to do next? I just got started with writing Allaria's romantic rendez-vous, but will gladly hand the reigns over to you if you have something in mind. The only scene I feel particularly attached to writing is the initial interaction between Jon and Karen--I have some fun plans for that one.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-05 12:04:15

On Back to Jon



Posted. I dunno if you want to do the next one or if I should.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 11:42:09

On The queen's morning



Alright I should have something in a bit. Here's hoping it works. It's been awhile.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 10:15:46

On The queen's morning



Thanks Unity! @ThePro, I have a vague idea for Jon, but by all means, please feel free to post whatever you want to post. Not only would I very much like to see what you have to write, but this IS fiction branches. The plot either goes as expected, or there's a fun new route to work with.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-05 10:02:23

On The queen's morning



I think I might actually have something here but I don't want to derail you too much if you've already got a Jon/Allaria ep coming up or in progress.

By ThePro - 2020-01-05 09:13:13

On The queen's morning



I’m LOVING this idea so far! I think the way they are forced to speak yet keeping what they want to say above it is perfect! Along with that, how they control their body, yet can’t do anything out of character, it’s a very enjoyable concept ^^ Keep up the good work!

By Unity - 2020-01-05 03:20:48

On The queen's morning



You're dead on. It's a weird feeling, trying to make something both clichéd and predictable, yet somehow not boring. I'm not gonna lie, I'm having a lot more fun writing this than I expected. If I get too invested, I just might have to make a full-fledged story out of it for some other platform.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-04 22:23:42

On The queen's morning



I'm enjoying that this appears to indeed be a tedious and clichéd book. Following from that, I get the feeling that this version of the Princess is probably a carefree little sprite that likes to cavort in the gardens and dream of far-off places in contrast to her ice queen mother. And of course, probably a forbidden romance coming up.

By ThePro - 2020-01-04 20:53:49

On The queen's morning



I’d like to have Jon and Karen realize that since elves don’t have weeks in their calendar, they’d be stuck there quite a bit more indefinitely than originally anticipated. They’d try to figure some other way to make it out, which might be possible, considering they’re in a magic setting. Problem is, the story keeps pushing them into different directions then what they’d need to do, and they’re stuck acting as characters who—while caring about one another other—REALLY don’t get along. (Please feel free to contribute; I only have this general idea, and would love to work with other people and their own takes on the story)

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-04 20:02:48

On All hail to her majesty



Well you're doing a better job than I did back in the day. Would you be interesting in sharing your plans, if you have any in particular?

By ThePro - 2020-01-04 01:49:45

On All hail to her majesty



It's funny that you say that, because I was honestly trying to follow your writing style! The bookmark/fantasy world storyline has been my favorite on the site for years, and I've always been bummed to see it receive as little attention as it does.

By Enjeubleu - 2020-01-04 00:18:57

On All hail to her majesty



Not only did someone add to one of my ancient poorly written episodes, it was the one with my favorite concept; and the episode was far better than what preceded it.

I love it. Can't wait to see where you're going with it.

By ThePro - 2020-01-03 19:48:32

On All hail to her majesty



The easiest way out of this would be hair. That would be the easiest to disguise, and I would love not have to ever shave again.

By Bunnie - 2020-01-03 02:35:14

On Jon's a little girl



Thanks Denkkar I believe I have corrected all of the name errors.

By Ghost81 - 2020-01-01 10:33:42

On Cheerleader Camp



Good addition but the "Kathryn" vs "Karyn" mixup was very distracting.

By Denkkar - 2019-12-31 21:25:21

On Cheerleader Camp



Always a fan of these 2 turning into cheerleaders. Excited to see where the story goes.

By Adiris - 2019-12-31 01:35:36

On Cheerleader Camp



Count me in as well as to help contributing, love these ideas...but this site doesnt have the traffic it used to have

By Pillas - 2019-12-29 19:09:45

On Biff uses her power again



Love the drafting board, absolutely.

By Ez - 2019-12-28 17:09:22

On Thank you to those who write in the drafting board



Chompy I'll continue this story if you won't. I love The Mist...

By Ez - 2019-12-28 06:21:17

On Biff uses her power again



I did enjoy it.

By Catprog - 2019-12-27 21:08:17

On Biff uses her power again



Due to lack of interest I am discontinuing this story. Thanks for enjoying it if you did.

By Chompy - 2019-12-27 18:36:53

On Biff uses her power again



I'm happy to collaborate.

I don't have a grand vision for this one. Usually I plan out all the major beats of a story, and have a general emotion I want to capture. For this one, I just wanted to enjoy it as it devolved into chaos, to be ultimately resolved by some deus ex machina. The ending still doesn't quite put things right, but lets everyone be content and enjoy their new lives.

I'll email you some spoilers of some of my broader ideas, if you'd like, otherwise feel free to add whatever comes to your mind.

By avatar Perri - 2019-12-27 10:55:26

On Back to School.



Hi Perri, I'm really enjoying this thread. Reality modifications are some of my favourite transformations out there. There are just so wonderfully and terrifyingly... complete. The victims really can't escape at all. Do you have a vision of where you'd want this story to go or do you mind me joining for a little collaboration?

By Alojz - 2019-12-27 06:16:44

On Back to School.



Duplication was what I was planning. Love the idea of spreading identity in a benevolent way like that.

By Ez - 2019-12-26 08:45:08

On Karin Kimura is next!



Good one electric zeal. I vote for duplications or the identity reality options.

By Goryu - 2019-12-26 06:20:41

On Karin Kimura is next!



Sorry for not updating MM in a while. I had family issues IRL come up. They're sorted out now and I'm ready to flesh out this whole story!

By Ez - 2019-12-25 20:34:10

On Karin Kimura is next!



I didn't have anything else planned.

By avatar VeronicaZ - 2019-12-21 20:05:08

On The Right Room(?)



Really like the ideas behind this branch. Are you looking for collaboration, or is this a project you'd prefer to handle on your own?

By avatar Perri - 2019-12-20 22:30:31

On The Right Room(?)



Good chapter, i'm becoming really curious.

By Goryu - 2019-12-19 18:23:27

On It's Leonard's Mom!



Kinda short....hope someone does this idea for real

By abagel - 2019-12-19 01:00:31

On Zoe is naked



Omg please continue this!

By abagel - 2019-12-19 00:55:31

On What if Women Didn't Wear Clothing



I kind of hope someone would continue with just a sub-story about nudist Zoe.

By abagel - 2019-12-19 00:23:24

On Be a Nudist



This option can be fun. I wonder just how much of their minds they would share. Would it be a hivemind, or just a shared identity?

By avatar Mira - 2019-12-18 12:14:46

On New Features






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