Recent comments

I find pretty creative the way how it was revealed that people simply couldn't understand what Jon was saying, like that thing of him grabbing the phone and recording he talking and then listening to it, I think it was a pretty creative well-thought-out idea and I wasn't expecting it. It would be interesting if, among the reality alterations – despite he having his adult body – had the strength of a little girl and any adult could, like, move him around, hold him and so on as if he was an actual toddler. Actually, I suspect that this might be already the case, although isn't that clearly stated you see people moving him around and changing his diapers, things that if he weight the same as a normal adult would make the whole process a little trick... anyway, just my two cents.

It would be nice a scene explaining how the physics work in this alternate reality, and, honestly, it would be just nice to see him realizing he had the strength of a little girl and seeing his utter total helplessness XD Like Biff holding him in his arms and so on.

@Alojz, peace is relative. He may just find what he needs, not what he wants.

@broom11 I though the exact same thing. Though judging by the pit of depravity that is our humble company I wouldn't count on Jon being left in peace too much ;)

When you finish this story you really should post it on Fictionmania so that more people could appreciate it! XD Also thank you very much for going in this direction. You have a writing style that I find very appealing and very hard to bump into, most of these stories end up being too much focused on sex and folks making out rather than telling the people's day to day life and how they deal and struggle with their new lives. It reminds me a little of Itsme from Fictionmania and the old (now deleted, sadly) stories from SandySeeker on writing.com.

Let's see if Karyn handles the card better than Gary ^^

PS. Honestly, I figure keeping Jon always somewhat horny is more convenient at an authorial level at least for now; if he goes lucid, he'll probably start acting rationally, and if he starts acting rationally, it means masochistic sexy fun times'll be over unless we've already worked in another means to force the situation. Said "means" could be David, I think, which is what I figured I'd work in here. We'd need something like that if this goes on past the 20 minute mark when David gets home anyway, unless we really shift the focus and tone of this thing once that happens. (BTW, was figuring at first that once the 20 minute thing kicks in Jon'd probably be more lucid and less horny as a rule, since obviously-terrible ideas wouldn't be tickling him so much.)

At least, such is how things are in my own estimation. There's probably some other way of handling things that I'm not clever enough to see atm, and I get the feeling you have something in mind already; I'm curious to see what that'd be. Happy Writing, man!

Sure. It's not like I'm all that committed to any one direction or vision for this thing anyway; I'm kinda playing it by ear, thinking "Oh this effect sounds cool!" And piling it on. But yeah, whatever I had in mind is kinda way less important to me than having a good, cooperative collaborator, so, sure, I'll see what I can make out of any other sister episodes.

Hey, so I see that you've set this up in the direction of Jon ending up being this permanently horny thing, where most of his misery comes from just needing release too much. To be honest this is a little mutually exclusive with a pretty prominent kink of mine - feeling sexualised even when NOT in the mood. I think I'll write a sister episode to this one rather than continuing here but that decision has not come lightly cause I think it'd be awesome to keep collaborating. So if you feel like adding to that other one maybe we can find a common ground later on?

Amazing. It's so good to have an encouragement to write more in a form of other people contributing. It's good to have some kind of proof that I wouldn't be writing just for myself.

Expect an episode or two from me later today. Hopefully this will be a start of a new flurrry of additions to the dramatic retelling of Jon's exceptionally misguided decisions!

To Switcher: the name change modification would have been OK if there wasn't a dependent episode with Barbara down the line.

Just saw this, and I love it :D Lots of great stuff here - if I weren't neck-deep in trying to get through the home stretch on my novel, I'd be trying to come up with a follow-on right now ;)

Thanks :) I really do want to get back to this story someday when I'm not so busy - glad you're enjoying it!

Because I like toying with people.

And in all seriousness, absolutely, go on right ahead.

How dare you introduce a character named Molly and not call the storyline “Molly’s Dollies.”

…In all seriousness, this is a fantastic premise. Mind if I add to it?

Hey T W, wanted to tell you that the "link" field when you submit a story determines the link that's seen when you're on the story before this one.

Wooohooooo new Episode!!!

Intriguing! I really like the setup, can't wait to see what will follow next. Great idea!

...You might not like what I had in mind for Karyn, then, heh. See I kinda figured I might accentuate the whole "she's from a stupidly inhospitable desert world where survival is never a given and its totally okay to pin dangerous fate-of-the-world quests on some random 17-year-old's shoulders" vibe that I figured I was getting from her arc, and making her into a warrior princess in a way that sorta necessitates being "mean" to her, but now I'm kinda wondering...
Oh well. We can always repost an edited branch anyway.

Heya feel free to try adding something. As long as you are not 'mean' to the characters, or place them in impossible situations im sure it's fine. It's all free. I'm sure nothingsp wouldn't mind, we rarely have a plan.

Hey Chompy, do you have a Discord account, and if so, what's your username? I'm thinking of reviving this here branch, but it occurs to me I probably shouldn't move forward without at least some idea of where you and nothingsp were going with it, so then, maybe we could get in touch and chat about it?

@Christine L.
Wouldn't most of those issues be solved just by having a bigger version of the star map, or even just creative use of the existing one? Simply look at the spherical bite it's taken out of the milky way and measure it's curvature, then you can work out where the center of the sphere is (and thus the location of the World-Destroying aliens), and the radius of the sphere (and thus how long ago the aliens destroyed the universe, once you divide by the speed of light) to within some nice margin of error. Of course that doesn't solve the issue of actually getting back there and fixing it, which the stone may or may not actually be capable of; but anyway the point is the star map they already have can already solve a lot of problems if they decide on time travel.

Pretty good. I added a few bits of information.

In this case, it'd require a LOT of complicated wishes to pull off a 'time travel' solution. It'd require knowledge of both space and time, and knowing just when and where to time travel to, how to reach the alien civilization that set off the universe-destroying weapon in the first place, and all sorts of other things. I might add more to that story along those lines, along with exploring the viability of another solution Zoe mentions when she learns of the full scale of the impending disaster.

Holy fuck, man.
Sarah's story, man, it just gets me. This branch is phenomenal!

Hi thanks for the comments. I am starting to feel more inspired to write again. I've always felt nothingsp is the true genius and inspiration. I'm working on a new story at the moment so hopefully once ice settled on the plot I'll write it up. Magic ring was an attempt to set up a magic girl story but it didn't quite work for me.

I don't plan on stopping, but there have been a lot of change in my life right now and I have less time to write. I'll try to get the next episode ready soon, but I can't promise anything.

This is so emotional seriously I'm impressed.

It is so cathartic seeing Jen, normally in most stories undecisive and kinda self loathing, yell "you idiot!" to evil Luc- aherm i mean, mean goddess fox Michelle.

Ok I really wasn't expecting Iridiscent Sun Jon and Arcade Anomaly Jon to friggin form a multiversal council. Where's the fairy from tho?

Must say, really interesting story so far, I had seen your writing through your collaborations with Nothingsp but this is actually my first time seeing you take the lead of the story and I must say, quite pleased. You really have quite a creative approach to how transformations operate, If you could recommend any other recommendable works from your catalogue I'd be glad to look into them. Thus far I have read Iridiscent Sun, Iridiscent Stars, Arcade Anomaly, Adaptive Adoption, D.I.Y. Dullahan and up to this page of the Mist.

Hmm do we mayhaps have a "Main Villain" on this story now?

OH HELL YEAH, COUCH FRIGGIN' CURTIS!

Hmm Zoe being interested in Biff's Sphinx form is really ironic considering what happened in that one special Arcade hehe.

"Magic". Actually I guess its more interesting. And also Athena kind of wished for it with the slip. So at least she would know. I think you could chalk it up as part of the parameters of the wish Athena was forced to make. We never see the full parameters because she only notices it when its 70% burned. Everyone is magically forced not to realize who the exchange student is so there is precedent for it being able to do that. Also its fictionbranches, do you honestly expect people to be consistent on here.

The more things change...

Enjoying the this story so far. Thanks for sharing it

"The Wishing Stone" Real classy there.

Mind. Blown!!!!!
Now it all makes sense, fantastic chapter.

How come Zoe and Athena don't recognize Jen but the mother does?

I have a couple ideas. But I wrote it for people to write on.

A really great concept with a really great execution! Do you have any plans for it?

Good to see this continue. this is well thought out, the characterizations
are brilliant

SIgh.
This is great.
and you got me.

Thank you. I replaced brittle by fragile, but I'm not sure if it's better.

English fixes

"Even the glass on the windows were clean" should be "was clean"

"carved directly in an enormous block" would usually be phrased as "carved directly from a single enormous block"

"What do you think make this light?" I think should be "What do you think is making this light?" or "What do you think made this light?" not sure depends on what you want to convey.

"thing that make the magic." should be "thing that made the magic."

"I forgot you never played video games before" probably should be "you've never" or "you have never"

"he generally need the master" should be "needs"

"Had Karyn not called the wrong name at the beginning. She might have heard her in time, but she didn't." This is confusing, it's not clear who "she" refers to until you're half way through the second sentence. Maybe rephrase to use Emily/Jon's name in the first part. Maybe "Had Karyn not called the wrong name at the beginning Emily might have heard her in time, but she didn't." There's a couple other places where it's not obvious when you get to which person a pronoun is referring to, mainly because you most recently mention the other person by name then switch who you're talking about. It is easy to figure out but it's like a little speed bump as you read.

"already stepping in a giant spiderweb" should be "stepping into"

"thankfully brittle enough" not sure "brittle" is the right word for spider silk, it really only applies to things that don't give or stretch, like glass. I can't think of a suitable word to just drop in and replace it though, "weak" would fit but I don't think it would sound good... downplays the spider too much.

"He shouted as he ran" did you mean "She" it's the only time in this chapter you use a male pronoun for Emily/Jon.

"Are you mad?!" is a bit British English, and at least in my head Jon and Karyn are American and would more likely use "insane" rather than "mad". This one is fine as is, but as I said, Americans are more likely to use "insane", at least in current American English, it would be different 100 years ago.