Recent comments

[MOD VOICE]

@Thun: Let's be more constructive with how we word things. Criticism and feedback are fine, but this was not the right way to phrase your opinions. We want to encourage writers here, so try to make sure you're being encouraging, even when you're giving negative feedback. In short: don't be a jerk.

@User616: I hope you do keep writing and experimenting with the Fiction Branches format. This website is only improved when new users come here with their own ideas, and their own permutations. As Bigbustgazer states, we do not have any rules against making multiple branches. However, speaking from my own experience, I think you'll engage your readers more if you create more variation between your different paths. Right now, it looks like you're pasting the same branch twice, with only minor changes. I encourage you to be more creative, figure out how these two parallel worlds are different, and how the two scenarios might create different stories. The more differences you create, the more fun your stories will be :)

Keep writing, everyone.

[/MOD VOICE]

thun I don't think there's any rule against writing multiple paths, and multiple paths is kinda part of the point of the site. It's not like anything is being used up.

Don't double post. Pick a path and stay there

LOL, mistakes were made.

Yes, doing deals with powerful beings never works out the way you want it.

Sure hope you come back and continue this some day Alojz, it's been great!

What are luck shires?

The 'Star Trek' episode mentioned within this episode is called "The Enemy Within", if anyone's wondering.

Revised this so you can see how two line breaks instead of one make text much more readable.

In a way I envy you.. You've got so much to discover still! I think I've largely seen all that is of interest to me :/

Thank you for the suggestion. Damn. 2012. That is from a long while ago. I am somewhat new to this website. There are moments when I'm browsing that I feel like an archeologist digging through ancient ruins. I might have a look about adding to that branch at a later date. (no promises tho)

Not directly relevant, but seeing this episode reminded me of this storyline from a long while ago - https://fictionbranches.net/fb/story/8340

I think you might enjoy it.

It's really appreciated. I'm really enjoying writing this, and I'm glad anyone at all is enjoying reading it.

I don't have anything specific to say that I haven't already said in other episodes, but I want to reiterate how much I'm enjoying this branch, just in case you thought my appreciation may have waned.

There's a few, look at "Jon's Perverted Fantasies" as a good start.

If you don't want grown boobs but swapped boobs from someone else, search for (without the quotes) jon + breasts | boobs | tits

Hi, I was a huge fan of your story of the same name back on writing.com. I was wondering if there was any way you still had access to the story there, I would be willing to host it and have a paid account under the same name as here (Dante). Please let me know and sorry for any bother

It’s exactly that! And it occurs when the holder tries making a wish.

So, if I understand, I would take a wish from any other branch here on FB (presumably linking the source of the wish), and grant it for the current holder of the stone in this branch?
Does this occur randomly, or does it perhaps wait for the current holder to make a wish before scooping up another wish from a different branch.
Definitely a recipe for chaos!

This almost acts like the normal stone, in that wishes are retroactive and only noticed by those present to hear them. However! Instead of granting the wish of the holder, it’ll grant wishes from any other branch, as if the holder made it. Make sense? I hope it’s not too convoluted.

Thanks for the pro tip!

Hey, quick tip: double the number of line breaks! Your stories will be a good bit more readable if you do, since unlike some places FB doesn't add space after paragraphs automatically.

I'm glad you are liking it. Feel free to pick up from this point on. I think I'm about to need to take a bit of a break form writing.

I especially love the set up for Simon getting wish privileges later, especially since it’s Jon who might be stuck dealing with it.

Welp. Looks like Jon got a little screwed over. Great chapter, I had a blast reading this!

I like both. I expected I'd be more into the one where Jon is getting his horny guy hat on but honestly, there is something hot about the idea that he might have finally realised that he's done something kinda fucked but, but its now too late to leave this roller coaster...

I like the longer one better. Definitely doesn't help Jon to overthink the mechanics of the wishes when he's already this deep into them, but it is something that might pop into his head in a moment of panic. Is Jon going to find a way to ease up his restrictions or will he accidentally make things worse when he's getting sexually frustrated?

The sudden tone shift felt a bit weird, so here's a more consistently serious take. I'm not sure which one I'll continue, or if I'll just write a different chapter altogether.

Lol, I’m glad to hear it. The chapter’s almost done, should have it up today or tomorrow.

Ah I can't wait until it comes out!

Maybe. I want you to get your self-study addition in first though.

Loving this, so nice to see this Branch being resurrected :)

I certainly wouldn’t deny them. Why, you got any ideas?

BTW, are you interested in external contributions here too?

I felt weird about my comment pretty much as soon as I posted it. You're doing an excellent job, and I should have known you knew these things.

While I do like the chapter I posted, I don't think it's best suited for this branch. That chapter is actually something that's been on my mind for a while, but it's better suited elsewhere, I think.

Those are really good points. I've been meaning to do some self-study for a good while now--but kept putting it off in favor of writing these other ideas. It'd definitely make for a good change of pace, so I'll focus on that next chapter. Thanks a bunch you two!

Also, @Perri, thanks for your addition! It's definitely much appreciated but I might continue this thread branching of this episode instead of the new one. I think flashbacks of backstory break the flow a bit for me. Would definitely welcome some additions in the main timeline!

Hi Perri, Thanks for good words!

> if you're going to focus almost exclusively on the fetishistic aspect of a story, your story paints itself into a corner quickly.

Yeah I know. But to be honest I'm personally not too concerned about having much story arch or plot development. This is just a fetish thing for me, so I'm only focusing on that aspect. Though, I would definitely welcome additions from other people that develop plot in some ways, or introduce constraints I have to operate in.

Secondly, I also second the need for a bit of time and opportunity for Jon to experience the physical differences he's forced himself to deal with. I mean I don't know exactly how big his breasts are, but in his original wish he asked for Josephine to be 'busty' so I'd imagine suddenly having a handful of inert flesh hanging of each of his pecs would feel like something? Also, the wish included a 'huge butt' but there is only one mention of him finding his thighs 'cushiony' when he sits on the floor. I imagine that suddenly having a sizeable behind would be more noticeable than that? And then there's obviously the fact that he's much shorter (which will probably show most when he's around other people), and generally smaller and weaker as a woman.

Like Cicuta, I would really like some of the next wishes to include sexy "enhancements". Though my personal preferences are for things which are firmly more of a curse than a blessing - and I struggle to imagine why a person like Josephine would actually wish e.g. her breasts to be bigger and more uncomfortable, seeing as most 'busty' women actually want their boobs to be less in the way.

Firstly, just wanted to chime in to say I really, really like the way you imagined the involuntary wishes come into force. Those brief vignettes of Jon's complete erasure in favour of Josephine, just for a wish to happen - it's conveys a sense of pretty exciting terror of being no longer in control of things.

Just a quick recap of events thus far. Now to work on what comes next!

Ooh, that could be fun. Especially since Jon made his new body as ludicrously good looking as he could; it’d be interesting how his counterpart would take it in a different direction..

This storyline has been really good. Please keep going.

Jon hasn't really moved around in this branch of the story. Before he loses himself to his new milf memories, he could take a minute to get to know the changes in his surroundings and his body. That could lead to him accidentally wishing for some sexy enhancements.

I have a vague plan for where to go with this, but thoughts and idea are always appreciated.

Thank you. Sincerely.

I'm trying to tell a story that is in three parts and an epilogue, and I'm pretty sure it would get pretty boring pretty fast if I tried to tell this at the full length I want to; so I have to do slices-of-life pieces at critical moments and hope I'm not getting too clever. (This episode is just under halfway through the first part.) Sometimes, it's both nice and fits to be allusive more than direct, so I really appreciate the compliment here -- side characters matter, and I'm never sure I'm doing a great job with them.

I'm actually really excited about the second part, and from here out, the story starts building to that in earnest. Kamiéra has to grow to take on the role the rest of the story needs, and I'm constantly worried I'm taking too long and rushing at the same time.

But seriously, thanks again. I was afraid the Clauga part would get lost in her details.

This branch deserves more upvotes than I'm allowed to give it. What subtlety! You have this established formula (and it's a good one) where you spend the first segment of a scene establishing a difference between Kamiera and the rest of the students, then a middle segment that represents the actual action or development, and then a final segment that brings Kamiera in line with his sisters. So, like, we know what's coming, more or less. We're just sort of... waiting for it to happen. Something about Clauga's history will change Kamiera, or it will reflect some action happening in the now and that will change Kamiera, but it doesn't happen. And then we get to the last line, and... IT HAPPENED. Where? When? But then the reader thinks back, and it makes sense. It is Clauga's strictness, in contrast to Amalein, that has influenced Kamiera. She doesn't have to do anything, it was her simple presence that changed the young Witchspear. Despite Clauga's personal conclusions appearing to be in direct opposition to Kamiera's, it makes sense that he would absorb "following the rules," and that "the rules" mean imagining a young man to dance with. But it comes out of nowhere.

Bravo.

I rarely check the forums, otherwise I would have responded!

I like that chapters you're creating here. They're a lot of fun, and really scratch a very specific itch. You do an amazing job at it, but if I can make a suggestion. In my experience, if I'm going to focus almost exclusively on the fetishistic aspect of a story, the story paints itself into a corner quickly. It's a good idea to make stories like that one offs. Get done, what you'd like to get done, and wrap up the story.

Alternatively. I've been playing with a few ideas to add some story depth. Not much. Maybe not nearly enough to make it a long story, but definitely a twist that gives you some interesting plot hooks if you'd like them.

Love your work!