Actually this should be easy to fix, they’re just not being creative enough. For example, if she’s just constrained to be half pig, she could be changed to have a complete human body but with a complete pig body growing out of her belly button with the pig’s tail as an umbilical cord and none of her nervous system in the pig part and then simply amputate the pig portion from the rest of her body. With the stone unable to do it with magic, you could wish for an advanced technological device that operates purely on science, that can splice genes and mutate living things into any other genetically engineered organism. You could also note that humans and pigs already share more than 50% of their DNA, and the half of her that is pig could be made part of the DNA which is exactly the same between pigs and humans anyway, and then the other 50% would be whatever she was missing from her original genetics. This would fix her DNA but not necessarily her body, until they wished for her injuries to be healed and her body therefore reset to what her DNA codes for. If she’s half pig, you could also make the other half be a shapeshifter life form, making her not half pig half human but a hybrid pig shapeshifter with the shapeshifter ability a dominant ability. She could also wish for a cyborg body like a terminator, which would look like whatever she wanted but just have her brain contained in it, like Robocop or Nuku Nuku or Metallo. And if none of those are any good, then also just because she's a pig, doesn't mean she needs to have so much body fat, any animal can have any level of obesity, it wouldn't take away her pigness to decrease the body fat, so he could wish away all her body fat except 20% of that found in her breasts. Also, being half pig, could just be the biochemistry. She could still physically look like she did originally, and not be forced to have pig mannerisms, but on a cellular level, if she needs a blood transfusion would need pig blood or if she needed an organ transplant would need a pig heart or kidneys or something, she doesn't need to physically have her body changed to be half pig. Perhaps none of these would fix her other problem that everyone but herself and Jon perceives her as a pig, but actually the robocop body one probably would, since their line of sight wouldn’t be any part of her original biological material but rather the robot.
Karyn could also wish for Jon to feel no pain while touching the stone, and for his body to become invulnerable while touching it, and for it to undergo rapid healing while touching it, then he could hold it even though it is red hot.
Of course for dramatic and story purposes, it perhaps is no good for things to just be fixed and necessarily get a happy ending, there's value in her reaction to and coping with this scenario. I'm just saying. They could be of use in some sort of final confrontation with the evil brother Mikey. But Mikey absolutely needs an appropriate punishment. You just glossed over that. He's still there, living with them in the same house! And just happy to have no consequences for himself? Turn him into a pig and give him the compulsion to eat shit all day long and release him into the wilderness. Or literally send him to hell. And what about the gun? He can't use the stone any more but there was the shapeshifting gun. Considering how irreversible I'm expected to accept things as being in this version of the story, I am not so sure you can just wish for the gun's powers to go away because that would be undoing a wish, and she didn't wish for its powers to go away, she wished for its effects to wear off, which could just mean that everyone who had been changed so far changed back to normal, but with the gun still functioning into the future.
By lifesmainantagonist -
I agree. One of the better threads by far. Hopefully it will inspire some additions.
By hello -
On Introduction to a Man's World
As Doc Brown would say, “Stop thinking so 3-dimensionally Marty!” Ok, Sarah is redeemable… in some branches. I have written her that way myself most of the time. In fact I have more often made her that way and made Karyn evil. But not here. In the path to here, she has been too malicious for too long, too stubborn. At the very least she has done too much all in one step on too little motivation after how solidly she stood her ground earlier. I could accept her not apologizing, not having an emotional breakdown, and just quietly handing Jon the stone and just saying “fix it if you can”. But this is just inconsistent. But even if she can be redeemed in some timelines, doesn’t mean she can be, or should be, in all of them. It’s your creation, you do with it what you want. As for the cork thing, it looked like well-deserved sarcasm to me. You don’t want to call it plagiarism? Ok, should we invent a new word for copying someone else’s exact words without accreditation? But a rose by any other name.
By lifesmainantagonist -
I am in no way suggesting Plagiarism from Ms Cork, I did say I was flattered that she used my opening paragraph, and I meant it. As for the rest, you are entitled to your opinion, I've always portrayed Sarah as a redeemable character, I'm not going to apologise or alter that, it's what I feel like writing.
By Great Sage -
Thanks for alerting to the plagiarism from cork. I just thought what the hell didn’t I just read this. I don’t think this is a fitting change for Sarah at this point though. I can’t accept her at this juncture actually apologizing and saying she’s a terrible person and returning the stone, too much in this version of her has already established her as a narcissistic psychopath. I can’t accept this chapter because she’s done too much to redefine her this much. She’s a villain that needs to be defeated, not a person to give sympathy.
By lifesmainantagonist -
Glad the sister relationship came across well; I wanted the Black family and the McMillan family to really contrast one another here and help explain some of the differences between Sarah and Karyn in the process. Expanding on the idea that's present in several branches of Sarah being a latch key sort of kid, both of her parents are pretty absent/disinterested in her life. Before there friendship dissolved, Sarah spent a lot of time with the Black family and losing that has been really rough for her in addition to the direct conflict with Karyn. (Alyssa, Bethany and Kimberly don't have a grudge against Sarah like Karyn does, and would probably still welcome her into their house, but it's just too awkward with her current antagonism with Karyn for Sarah to approach them)
By Gooose -
I have her in one other branch, that's only 2 chapters long, though in that she's three years older than Karyn instead of only one.
By Gooose -
It's scary how invested I've become on this story thread.
Excellent work. I like the Karyn/Kimberly relationship. Not sure if Kim is from another thread or a new original character but the whole black family vibe right now is killing it.
By Hmm -
This would have been a great time for him to point out to her that she’s going to have to live with them too. If there’s any type of person that has a low tolerance of unpleasant people, it’s other unpleasant people. Does she think that if everyone is acting like her, they’re all just going to get along?
By lifesmainantagonist -
On Face to Face with The Bitch
So, the exact wish or wishes won't be revealed right away, but the reason Zoe remembers the old world, is she technically heard Jon wishing through the wall. She couldn't make out the words, so she hasn't made the connection, but it triggered the bit of the magic from the root branch where if you hear the wish you know reality's been changed, but everyone else thinks things have always been this way.
By Gooose -
Sarah is going to hate herself by the end of this, as she loses patience with everyone else acting exactly as she asked for, like her. She’s unintentionally setting herself up for a character growing experience, if any of the writers thought of it at least.
By lifesmainantagonist -
On Sarah's Plan
Now I'm curious what exact wish created those changes... or why Zoe is seemingly the only one who notices anything's different.
By Zelo -
This could prove... interesting if the changes continued.
By Zelo -
On DMU - Lydia’s morning continued
I'm eager to see about the main continuity. I've been paralleling it.
By The Guest -
On DMU RB Andrews - outfits for the 2nd day
If you ever want to talk,. I'm in the Discord.
By The Guest -
On DMU RB Andrews - outfits for the 2nd day
Thanks, had a bit of a tough time lately, trying to get myself back into this cause I don’t want to leave it hanging
By MightyMrJ -
On DMU RB Andrews - outfits for the 2nd day
Glad to see you back.
By The Guest -
On DMU RB Andrews - outfits for the 2nd day
I guess the way I've been thinking about Jon/Jo's situation is that at some point you would become numb to it and just accept your fate. And at this point Jon/Jo has been fighting Sarah's wish for a full day and I would envision that as being super exhausting to deal with... So by the time Jon is Jo she would be worn out and likely numb to the situation. Plus it's not like she can do much without the stone... Anyways it is kind of weird to just accept your fate like that, but the last version of Jon had the weird gender bending puberty in it so it's probably nice to be normal again... Even if that means you're a different gender. Idk if any of that is coherent, but that's kind of what was clanking around in my brain when I wrote that.
Glad you're enjoy the story!
By ThisIsNoOne -
It still feels a bit... weird (like, uncomfotably weird, if that makes sense) to me that Jo is so quick to be OK with being female and - more importantly - view herself as separate from Jon, who she used to be (and it's not even subtle). I mean, it makes sense when you think about it and it's interesting to read, so I'm not really opposed to it (in fact, I really like how she doesn't have a "wow" moment when she sees her pussy for the "first" time). It just... gives me weird feelings. :/
Still, I'm curious where this story is gonna head to and I'm looking forward to more in the future.
By Zelo -
But, enough talk. Have an upvote! :)
By Zelo -
On Ah! A WASP!
I’m just going to stop now but write a spoiler for how I would have ended it in case anyone cares. Jessie leaves her backpack at her former house, a man who lives there picks it up and catches up to her to give it back to her and taps on her shoulder from behind, but that’s too close and they can’t resist each other. They start making out and he grows a tail explosively out the back of his clothes and finds to his shock he’s turned into a catgirl and continues developing into a heavily-afflicted one and then her belly grows and rapidly progresses to the birthing stage and is astonished and reluctant to accept he’s a female giving birth. Then his wife runs out and says what did you fo to my husband and is upset at first but they were an infertile couple and anger turns to enthusiasm as the former husband gives birth to a litter of 5. Jon wishes to know information on the status of Karyn and Josh and just decides to merge everyone with their timeline 4 selves from a distance. Josh knows where she lives now and goes there to join her now large family- her parents are now both women as his own father was the 2nd victim of her power and as a result has to accept things are pretty messed up and in addition to having dozens of children, also has some inbred half-sibling daughters, but their family is rich because they get paid to use Josh’s power on rich men who want to be heavily-afflicted mothers, and it turns out that when used on women they just get pregnant the slow way and with no transformation to heavily-afflicted state, but with men the change is to heavily afflicted and ready to give birth immediately. Final scene is they’ve settled into their new lives and Josh/Jessie and Jon/Tiffany are cuddling together in bed watching a romance movie talking, and then Karyn joins the conversation indicating she’s there in the bed eith them and then finally Sarah tells them all to quiet because she’s trying to watch the movie, indicating all four of them are crowded together in bed. A bit ofblight-hearted affection and teasing and it’s the end
By lifesmainantagonist -
I don't know there's been this recent sitewide uptick in romance between Karyn and Jon (well, replacement-Jon here) but I am 100,000% here for it!
By Matisguy -
On Changing Outfits, Changing Needs
I really want to say, you may not have thought about this, but this also really goes against what was already established for Karyn in the first chapter. She was very negative about human male sexuality, showing contempt for and reducing all of them to just drooling over women's breasts. I find it hard to believe she'd do a 180 and be pleased and sex-positive with Jon doing sexual things, she'd be much more likely to react with contempt and something like "you're just like all the rest of them after all". In fact in light of what she does think of members of the male sex, I find it hard to understand how she could have ever have become friends with a boy in the first place. Maybe it would have been better to ditch Karyn as the target of Jon's interactions here. He's not Romeo and she's not Juliet. They are not soulmates and when one or both of them have power, they wouldn't be likely to get along for long, and I would expect Jon being anything more than a eunuch in front of her would set this off. He may think favorably about her but remember they're still "friends" after being childhood friends yet she's very ardently negative toward human male sexuality. It paints a picture to me. In most of my own stories I have pushed Karyn to being secondary or not good-intentioned for this reason.
By lifesmainantagonist -
Well, Storyflies are their own beings, think of like a more simple minded version of the characters they represent. Appeal to that being and they will give their power to you. You could appeal to a fly that has a character you have no connection to by putting on an act as well, however wether that works depends how well an actor you are. Honestly you could call this a "Theater's kid" Omnitrix haha.
By N/A -
On A new teacher brightens a school
Thanks. Well, I think Rebecca is being modest and just finding an ‘excuse’ for being confident, and turning into someone that knows almost everything is a surprising way to start feeling that confidence. She’s just very close to her character and she put a lot of thought before attempting it. I envision her as a special case since the locket was given to her, no doubt she was psychologically assessed and deemed stable and compatible… and her desire is surpassingly modest. It’s not outside human capability to do what she does… at least with a small group. She is following the mantra of helping others though I did want to make sure it was a place she could reasonably interact with people…
Though I’m a bit unsure on how the powers transfer. I imagine it would be the characters the owner feels close to not necessarily the new person … so … hopefully some shenanigans…
By Chompy -
On A new teacher brightens a school
It’s an intriguing idea here but it’s just too many chapters for nothing really new happening with no conflict, no danger. Just 2 kids doing sexual stuff together normal people could never experience IMHO is good for a chapter or two, but not 20. It would be a much better story if they had lost control of the stone or a wish had gone wrong in a way that was possible but extremely inconvenient to fix and they were potentially going to be stuck that way forever, if they had to make some sacrifice, if they truly got stuck that way and had to cope, just for something different to happen in all this.
By lifesmainantagonist -
Oh wow this was a pleasant surprise, really flattered you decided to try out my branch, and I see you're really taking it places already. Sam being this knowledge seeker but firmly set in reality, completely unaware of anything internet makes for a pretty interesting protagonist for something that relies on fiction. Also Rebecca expressing herself through a character that boosts not only her abilities but her confidence is a really interesting plot point, wonder how that will develop. Admittedly, I never intended for the Locket to give access to the character's personality as I envisioned the "play into the role" aspect would form part into the storyflies appeal system, but I can't deny the idea of "voluntary access to a character's personality" is mighty interesting into it what it could also put on the table as well.
By N/A -
On A new teacher brightens a school
No worries, this wasn't really confusing.
(I tried phrasing it in a way that wouldn't sound sarcastic, though I might've ended up sounding weird/"ESL-y" instead)
By Zelo -
It's not often that FtM gets the same treatment as MtF normally does in terms of writing. Usually it's either not really elaborated on or it feels like something to contrast the other transformation.
I'm not saying it's amazing or anything, but it's a nice little breath of freah air.
By Zelo -
On A Step Through The Sliding Door
And that's why ultra-advanced, sentient AI is/will be a mistake, at least in terms of ethics.
By Zelo -
On A White Void
"Pandora's box had been opened and it was for sale, as is.
Sleep tight Jon.
Your perfect wish has given us a garage sale for the ages."
That's a really creepy note to end a chapter on. o_o
By Zelo -
Very interesting. I wonder how all this will play out.
By Paula Clark -
"Jon’s penis sprung free, standing proud"
Me: (tries his hardest to resist singing "Stand Proud" from JoJo part 3) 😫
By Zelo -
On The Date
Thank you both! I didn't plan on taking a year break, but stepping away from it allowed me to reset my brain and I'm hoping to take the story further than I had originally had planned to take it. So we'll see where it goes. I will say writing a story that continually dips into the past which is constantly shifting and changing requires lots of notes... So many notes after each chapter...
By ThisIsNoOne -
On Jo wresltes with the fallout of becoming fully female
Always look at the positives in your life! Now if only I listened to that advice, that would've been great...
By Zelo -
On Jo wresltes with the fallout of becoming fully female
What a Treat! This story never fails to impress, Jo has a great life, and once she realises that, she will understand what a gift Sarah has given her.
By Great Sage -
On Jo wresltes with the fallout of becoming fully female
How the turn tables! Great chapter, loved to see that little dip into Jon's past after such a big change, a little hint of an emotional outburst, and Jon's realization that this step backwards may have just unlocked the ability to take some giant leaps forward. This is one of my favorite threads on the site and I'm so happy to see it return from its absence without missing a beat. Very excited to see what happens next!
By MaryMary -
On Jo wresltes with the fallout of becoming fully female
These scenarios seem like they could be a lot more tricky than most of the writers realize, so I've included some of these thoughts into the storyline here.
By lifesmainantagonist -
On Josh
cant wait for more of this story
By vampmire -
Hey lifesmainantagonist.
I see you've been posting quite a bit in the past few months. That's really cool. I'll share a bit about this community. It's pretty old, literally being founded the summer of 2000. There's some really brilliant writers on here, and every now and then we strike a great synergy and start collaborating on bigger projects. Compared to other sites, the view to feedback ratio is really good, but as I'm sure you see, we don't get as many regular viewers.
Some things that might help you get more feedback is to collaborate with other authors on more recent branches. Give feedback of your own, but stay positive and bounce ideas around. People write for fun, not as a second job.
It seems like a lot of your posts are on chapters that are a decade old or older. Try adding few chapters to other peoples branches.
I can understand how it could be frustrating to feel like you're posting into a void, but if you're just looking for as many views as possible, this probably isn't the best site.
As for "upvoting" our own stuff. XD We all had a big chat about that a while ago when Phoenix updated the rating system. If we feel like we posted a banger, yeah, we'll upvote our own stuff as a self pat on the back, but we're not really a "like" driven community. Of course it's nice when we get feedback, but most of us write because we love it, plain and simple.
By Perri -
All right Lucus. You're lucky I checked back one last time because I was going to end my relationship with this website. But for your reference I came to that conclusion because when my stuff doesn't get any upvotes and everyone else's submissions submitted at about the same time does, my conclusion is no one cares. But most of them are probably just upvoting their own content and any real readers maybe don't bother even if they read something they like, or maybe save it to favorites instead.
By lifesmainantagonist -
Hey, I'm reading it.
By Lucus Rose -
well I’m stopping here, no one’s reading it or cares anyway
By lifesmainantagonist -
"I don't think I can wish her back to life,"
You sure? I don't see a reason why either you - the writer - or the charaters would think it wouldn't be possible. It's not like Jon directly wished for Sarah to die, it's just a consequence of his use of the swapping power. If he can wish to change the reason of her death, I'm sure he'd be able to wish her back to life/she never died at all... though I'm not sure how she'd react and/or if it's a good idea.
Point is: there's nothing in-universe that would suggest you can't wish people back to life.
Then again, this WAS made in 2009...
By Zelo -
Thanks Zelo! Hope you enjoy!
By bigbustgazer -
On A Frank and Honest Discussion of Boobs and Feelings
WOAB WOAH WOAH that went from 0 to 100 really fast at the end. o_o Guess she is still a bitch after all.
By Zelo -
On Sarah McMillan comes to visit
"Then why does it feel so alien to me?"
And why do I find it SO hot? I mean, I know I'm apparently into unaware, body part swaps with sexual (under?)tones now after reading that one story on DeviantArt, but still - this much? Is it just because it's new and good?
A-anyway, really looking foward to next chapter, whenever that may be, though with how recent this one is, I'm having good hopes. 😄
By Zelo -
On Round Two
Wow. That was a really nice "branch-opening" episode. Definitely got me interested for what's to come.
By Zelo -
On A Frank and Honest Discussion of Boobs and Feelings
I guess "Pbly" could actually be either possibly or probably. Actually it could even be "impossibly" or "improbably" but maybe that would be better shortened to mply and it wouldn't fit the context. It could be tricky to write for this in a way that isn't ambiguous. Any long words stand to be a real problem. I did split newscaster into 2 words intentionally for that reason.
By lifesmainantagonist -
Hmm wonder how this would bode for data storage.
By N/A -
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