Recent comments

Very kind. But I just spent years off and on trimming it down from novel-length...

Fucking brilliant. Can't wait to see more.

Good to see your writing again

not going to lie, by title, i expected a fusion device, the kind that goes 'boom'

@Gooose hopefully you can return to this branch and some of the older ones too

I was worried for a bit that the author may have left this project. Glad to see a new addition :)

This needs to be made into a novel, clearly a fantastic piece of writing.

Omg! I saw you had a chapter on the discord but didn’t realize it was for Royal Mistake until now! Great work!!!

This branch is apparently being revived, so I asked myself "Why not?"

Congratulations, you played yourself. :P

I must say, going into this story I didn't expect it to be so intrigueing. Looking forward to what comes next, even if logic and expectations would suggest that Carly will likely lose the challenge one way or another and become a true mannequin in the end. Still, we shall see if that proves to be true.

Awesome!!!

All Rise for the Return of Her Majesty

I really love this branch, it's one of my very favourites. I really like Steve/Abigail's slow character development. The entire hat of names gimmick is really neat too.

I finally had some time off and wanted to get back to this. Ended up doing something a little more chill after last chapter, but I do wanna keep escalating things for Jon and his mom moving forward

I wonder how the three Sarahs will react when they meet eachother. Will they act "normal", with only a nagging feeling that something's wrong? Will they freak out after seeing clones of themselves, followed by a concerning feeling that "it's how it's always been"? Will they keep their identical names or will two of them change after some time? Maybe just stick to using nicknames to tell them apart?

So many questions, so little to go off of for now!

Damn, I wish this was continued.

I am the original author, although I lost my original account a long time back. Nevertheless, I've collected all the segments together with edits to mesh more smoothly. I've changed the character names and finished the story.

It is now an E-Book titled "Shrink Racked"
by Jaime Sparkz

The book is published and available for FREE and can be found at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1090540
Or you can google for it.

I went this route to obtain a public copyright and ISBN. I have no intention of making money off of it, I just wanted to try to prevent others from ripping it off and selling it as their own, I've had that happen before.

I hope you enjoy it!

I have another E-book in the works. It could be awhile but it's looking to be about twice the size of this one. "Smashwords" has merged with another bigger service and I've yet to figure out if I can do FREE publishing through the merged entity.

Later!

There's a degree of repetition in this which leads me to believe you copied and pasted a lot of the earlier chapters, try not to do this in future it looks bad, other than that, an interesting premise

@Gooose do their powers work on each other?

Okay. You will need a translator to know what they're saying. I have removed the exact translation, but here's a summary. The two men realize that they have somehow lost contact with their agent, and they're not sure what's going on and what to do. At this point, they seem to know less about what's going on than the readers do. There's also Easter eggs for those who actually DO translate the text, and a reference to a meme that might be lost in translation.

tl;dr you don't have to know/translate Russian to get this episode. We aren't meant to know the evil scheme and Cork just hid a lot of Easter Eggs instead.

Yes, you know something's up when a bunch of boys recognize a Street Fighter II cabinet one minute but the next don't remember a prominent character from that game and instead get confused with a character from Taming of the Shrew. :) That conversation was hilarious, by the way.

You should check your opening quotes, a lot of them are combining with the character that comes next. Random accent marks on letters that should be an opening quote followed by the letter makes it weird to read.

This is a brilliant episode, in writing and direction.

The name Twyla was chosen in honor of Twyla Tharp, one of the most respected and accomplished dancers and choreographers of the 20th century.

I liked it until her name was Twyla. No it isn't. No one is that mean to their kids. Name reads like it's said with a speech impediment. (just wait, it's the authors real name and I am going to look like a jerk)

I love the work you're putting into this one. This set-up can go several very fun directions, and I can't wait to see where you're taking it. Please continue!

Not sure if this one is worth trying again. I didn’t like my last attempt but thought I’d give it another go, probably no appetite for a side story with Michelle and Trevor but thought it was worth a try

This rework is quite good

Technically (unless the terms are different in the US compared to Australia) the opening statements from the defence attorney sound like they're actually coming from a prosecutor. The defence attorney would represent the defendant who in this case is self representing.

That said... I look forward to reading the next few chapters as I like where this is going!

Haha very good pickup! I thought it was just displaying 2 comments for me, not everyone else!

Nice. So basically some of them have superpowers now

@buyerinternet Seems like Susan isn't the only being that got duplicated. :P

What an abstract and fun idea. I love it!

What an abstract and fun idea. I love it!

That was unexpected! Funny, though.

Hey, thanks for the feedback. They won't just be straight swaps though. She has fun little added experiments to add on for each pair.

Making a wish for a competent magic instructor, one capable of handling all of the girls in the Sisterhood would be a smart idea. Don't rely on a potentially too powerful unpredictable artifact to cast your magic, learn magic yourself and grant your own wishes. Smaller, simpler, noticable, reversible wishes, but those just may well be features not bugs.

Nice one. Thanks for taking my suggestions

And yes, you're right about the Cheerleader Gun, too. Lots of potential for mischief there, especially given all the options it has.

As far as body dysmorphia goes, it depends on the Random Gun and how it effects people's mental state to some extent. But as said several times, the Random Gun's effects are random. You're right in that Biff is suffering - so much of his identity is tied in to his being able to play sports that he can't play in his current transformed state. Fortunately, he has Sarah to help call attention to his plight.

As for Jon, Jon certainly seems to sort of fluid right now as far as gender goes, and seems all right with being a girl. It might not be just one thing that's causing this. As for how Jon's perception of movie stars might have changed, that's an interesting question. But yes, Jon is certainly going to be looking in the mirror over the next day or so, and will have to come to a decision sooner or later.

Anyway, with the MTI Day One arc concluded, the story will be getting back to Jon and Karyn, as well as the various jocks, cheerleaders, Goths, geeks, and so on. I've been wanting to get back to them in more than just brief 'checking in on them' bits for quite a while.

What's next? Well, the 'Sisterhood of the Stone' (as Zoe called their little group of people who know about the stone) will meet. A lot of people (not just Jon) will have to make some decisions soon. And maybe Lake Point High School's rivals will get into some of the Transformation Gun related mischief. We'll wait and see.

Yay! I felt unable to contribute during the MTI arc, I'd live to see Jon and Karen talk. And I'd like to see Linda talk with Jon just to probe what he/she is feeling.

Actually, since Jon and Karen are watching movies (because live TV is kinda a no-go tonight, with all the chaos and all. Just immagine if the Dallas Coybows got hit with the Cheerleader Gun!) but I'd love some of Jon's perspective as she processes what happened to her, how much of that prior personality is left in Jon, and if she still has any changes. Like, in lots watching movies, it's boud that they see one actor who was a heartthrob in their day. Maybe Brad Pitt, Maybe Tom Cruise. Shoot Ronald Ragan turned heads back in the day. How does any of that make her feel as a girl, compaired sitting next to Karen?

Looking at her own reflection, what does Jon see? How does Jon feel? Does she cup her boobs or her hips because it's the first time that she's had access to a girls flesh, or does her brain focus her thoughts on the I securities most girls have. Is she perturbed that she looks so small/young and envies women with fuller figures? Does looking cute or pretty feel good, better than felling masculine? What degree of body dismorphia is there. Biff seems to be suffering lot, but Jon not so much.

@Gooose tbf if some of the bridesmaids aren’t attractive and Linda gets swapped with one of them she would still be in a position to be jealous of Pete. Would it be better if Mikey or Zoe end up as Tatiana?

Author's note: Can you believe that this story has been taking place on the same day for 100 or more episodes which were written over the course of several years? It's crazy that it took this long to get to the end of Day One.

But now we're here. Jon, Karyn, Sarah, and everyone from Lake Point High School and McMillan Tech Industries can now move on to the next day and beyond. I've been looking forward to this for quite a while. I have some ideas for where things might go, including an arc revolving around the Lake Point High School vs. Forestville High sports rivalry and the special 'tiebreaker game'. In any case, we're done with the Day One arcs now, and can now move forward.

@Endless They're interesting. I think Stephanie will swap with Hilde, the German instagram model, but I'm less sure of the other ones. I want to have a mix of exchanges where the Gibson group got the better end of the deal and the other way around, so Karyn might end up as one of the plumbers or Tatiana's bodyguard. I kind of want Linda to be in a position where she's jealous of Pete as well. Lots to consider.

@Gooose what do you think of those suggestions?

@Gooose Karyn as the German instagram model and Stephanie as Tatiana or swapping them around could work as well. Linda with one of the bridesmaids. And Mikey and Zoe swap with each other

That's the current plan! With a few little tweaks thrown in by Kalea. Then his dad with the bachelorette/sorority girl. The others are shakier, so please share your suggestions if you have them.

I suspect Jon will end up as Eleanor